Brilliant Ideas

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Speaking of rocking my socks off, here are a couple of ideas that I wish to see implemented sometime soon.
A while ago, I saw this great site, Cooking for Engineers. The idea is to provide a very methodological, systematic approach to cooking. They have pie charts for pizza pies, vertical breakdown of ingredients, and even some sort of a Gantt chart for the whole process of preparing the pie (we need to create the need for a process reengineering, and we have a whole consulting gig in our hands!). Anyways, the idea is great, and it made me wonder why not have some sort of Dating for Engineers site. You know somewhere where you just plug in the name of your crush, her birth date, and her shoe size, and then you get all sort of directions on how you should approach the operation. Wouldn't it be neat if you have something like a flow chart, where you have directions like "call her for 2:30 minutes the first day"...then a decision "did she call back"..."if she did...increase your calls length and frequency by 10%..."..."if she didn't...cut back 5%, float 5%, and have 20% more time assessing your next opportunity"...That would rock! I'm not an engineer myself, but I always admired their problem solving skills. So, I'm waiting.
Another great idea that I would like to see one day, is some way by which somebody can jump in the middle of a date, immediately when I say something really stupid, and screams something like "CUT...that was bad, bad, bad...we don't do it this way anymore...I need more passion next time...I am wasting raw film here!!...we'll take it from the start...Action!!".
This IS a fail over mechanism we can all appreciate.

P.S. One reason I don't think we have these things is that the phrase "Dating for Engineers" seems to be a paradox!

Tags: dating, engineers, brilliant, ideas

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There is something terrifying about looking into a blank page.
I don't want to get all artsy on you, but the whole idea of starting from scratch doesn't excite me that much. I am more of a lets-straighten-out-this-mess kind of guy. I need to have substance to work on. I need a problem to solve. Fighting windmills doesn't rock my socks off!!

Tiny MBA at Hussein

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Some people, me included, think that formal business education is an absolute necessity for success in the business world. However, we're reminded every once in a while that good business sense isn't only a product of education, but more importantly, a product of passion for what you do.
Yesterday I was having dinner at a tiny restaurant in Cairo's very old quarter of El-Hussein. The whole dinner experience didn't exceed 20 minutes, but in that 20 minutes I was able to realize why this restaurant (which isn't exactly a restaurant, but rather an occupation of a tiny alleyway) continues to be very successful.
I'm in a line of business where people think in bullets, so here are my observations:

• The restaurant only sells stuffed pigeons. Of course they have salad, soup, bread, and some meat; but the whole show is mainly about stuffed pigeons. Talk about leveraging competitive advantage.
• The business was hit hard by the Bird Flu scare. To counter this, the walls of the restaurant were all adorned with photocopies of articles from independent newspapers stressing that pigeons weren't infected with the virus. This form of PR is more effective than a chicken producer's 30 seconds spots on radio and TV saying that our chicken is all right, if you asked me.
• As I said before, the whole dinner lasted around 20 minutes. Because of a very limited menu, and standardized components (one salad, one bread, one soup) , the waiters are able to serve fresh dishes quickly.
• You don't get to pay for the salad, the bread, or the soup. You fully expect beforehand what will you pay at the end. "You had 2 pigeons?", me: "yes", "that will be 32 L.E. (6$)". That's it. So although you're obviously paying for the other things, you get the feeling that you had every other thing as freebies. No sales taxes, or service taxes either.
• The restaurant has a head waiter. This guy is analogous to a football team captain. He stand at the center of the restaurant, and direct the other waiters to the tables that require their attention, but he never serves anything himself. That's why I was surprised when I saw him serving this huge pan filled of rice and meat to a table at the far corner of the restaurant. It turned out that the restaurant was about to close (it was 2 AM) and that this table was the workers' table, where everybody who works there will go to have their dinner before going home. Only this table is waited on by the head waiter. Seems like a very effective team building technique to me.

Of course most of these things aren't done because of a proper knowledge of the business principles underlying them, but rather, as I said earlier, as a result of an instinctive realization of the importance of the success of the business to everybody involved in it.
Sometimes doing is more important than knowing!

Tags: egypt, business, local

Stock Market Wisdom

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I have been a bit quiet lately, mainly because of work reasons.
The top news around the office (and many offices across Egypt) last week, seemed to be the stock market crash. In less than half an hour last Tuesday, some stocks lost as much as 20% of its market value.
For analysts, the crash seemed to be a normal consequence of a bubble that had been growing for the last 3 months. But some 'investors' thought otherwise; some demonstrated in front of the Cairo Stock Exchange demanding their money back!!
This whole thing reminds me of an old Story of Goha.
For the uninitiated, Goha is a a historical character, whose authenticity is doubted, and that appears in the literature of various Mid-Eastern countries. He is usually the village wise fool, whose antics seems to reflect genuine wisdom. Even in the sophisticated world of financial markets it seems! Anyways, the story goes like this:
Goha goes for his neighbors asking them to lend him a pan to cook in. They do. Two days later he returns the pan, with a smaller pan inside. When asked about the smaller pan, he says that the larger pan gave birth to the smaller one, and that they should have it. His neighbors are very happy. A week later, he goes again asking for another pan. Tempted by the possibility that this pan will also give birth, his neighbors lend him their biggest pan.
A week passes without any news from Goha. His neighbors go to his home and ask him for their pan. "I'm sorry but it is dead" Goha answers. "Are you crazy??" his neighbors replies "pans don't die!!". "You believed they can give birth" Goha says "why can't you believe that they could die as well??!!"

Viagra Price Watch : Prices Going Through The Roof!!

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File under "only in Egypt":
Authorities in Cairo International Airport had intercepted 1.8 tons (yeah, tons!) of Viagra, while they were being smuggled inside bags of ceramic powder coming from UAE. (Arabic source)
The shipment belongs to Mohammed Abu El-Ainin's (Chairman of the industry committee in parliament, and one of the NDP's most powerful men ) company. He denied any responsibility, and even offered to have his parliamentary immunity revoked to be questioned about the incident.

This, however, didn't stop Egyptians from cracking jokes about the thing. Most would be inappropriate, but let me say that a particular one observed the fact that this huge viagra shipment, came in time with Gamal Mubarak's engagement!

Can you guess the joke?

Tags: stupid, criminals, crimes, egypt, gamal

6 Things To Do While Caught in 6th of October Traffic

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1. 1. Contemplate if Elissa got a recent nose job.
2. 2. Read about Mubarak's Eurotrip in the newspaper of the guy next car.
3. 3. Treat yourself to an M&M everytime the guys at Nile FM (or Nogom FM) make a joke that makes jumping off the bridge a favorable idea.
4. 4. Behold the early-morning-beauty of Egyptian girls (dopey, messy, uncut!)
   
5. 5. Try to form complete sentences out of random bumper stickers on pickup trucks, and mini-buses.
6. 6. Work on your breath holding record by getting your glass down and trying to survive Cairo's 'brilliant' air.

Tags: egypt, cairo, traffic, 6 october, top, list

A Really Innocent Question

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I was talking to a friend recently, and we both had a question which we couldn't find an answer for:
Whatever happened to Toshka?!!
If anybody has any idea, please tell me. Seriously!

You Have To See This

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I seem to be in the habit of changing opinions about people these days, but I can only salute Spielberg for this.
I am just home from a very late screening of 'Munich', and let me put it this way:
There are good movies that makes you feel all happy and satisfied, and then there are others which disturb you, and leaves you with a looser grip on reality.
'Munich' is of the latter type.
But don't take my word for it. Go see it!

Tags: palestine, israel, munich, movie, review

There is a Reason There are Quotes

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Been looking for something similar for a while now. Here it is:

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish

Euripides

How To Start A Terrorist Network?

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Being entrepreneurial as ever, I always pondered this question; how do one get to start his own terrorist group. I mean I obviously am against what they're doing, but on a more logistic, operational, organizational level these guys astonish me. How could the Bin-Ladins and Zarqawis of the world get to coordinate those massive killing networks with such precision we hear of on the evening news, without any MBAs in their ranks.
After brief observations, and briefer thoughts, I give you the "Extremist's Guide To Start His Own Terror Group":

1. 1. Find a victim (preferably somebody who was, being, or willing to be killed). The wider the definition of the 'victim' the better.
2. 2. Find a villain who can pass Mr. Evil's criteria of badness. Abstract, stereotype, dehumanize, and repeat.
3. 3. Define an ideology. It's not hard really; use very big words to define it, scream while you're talking about it, and make your eyes dilate in utter disbelief when somebody questions it (I know it takes practice, but you'll manage)
4. 4. Have a leader. You got to have a leader. Can you have a war without a hero? You sure can't! I know that you're thinking "I'm the leader! I am the one reading the manual!" I know. But you can't be a 'leader', until you star in your own version of "Passion of the Christ". Man, you gotta be the savior. S-a-v-i-o-r. The greater the number of people you're trying to save the better; it widens the recruitment pool. Also, you need to emphasize traumas in your life and how it made you the great leader you are. If these traumas include one when the villain took you away from your parents in your childhood, you've hit the jackpot.
5. 5. Be paranoid. Needless to say, everybody is conspiring against you.
6. 6. Give suggestions not orders, preferably in the heat of defining your ideology (see 3). Something like "we disapprove of killing, but if any of the villains took as much as a breath of air that could have gone to us, then we will surely kill him without hesitation!" See, no orders, just suggestions! (will also serve you well during investigations later on)
7. 7. Offer alternatives, between dying or following you blindly "...even if we have to give up some of our principles...hell...dying isn't a good principle, now is it?!"
8. 8. Repeat, repeat, and repeat. Through cassettes, CDs, satellite channels, internet, the new blogging thingie...you know, the works!

Now that you have your own terror group, I have one more advice to you; "Never be upstaged", stay invincible, stay vindicated!

Welcome Back

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Ritzy was one of the very first Egyptian bloggers I read for. She is intelligent, funny, witty, and trying to get us to associate her with Pamela Anderson with that profile image she is having. She stopped writing abruptly 4 months ago, but now she is back from prison..err..Africa where she helped homeless children build toy cars!
Seriously, watch out for this girl!
Glad to have you back!!

Random Maxims

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The grand master sat with his legs tucked carefully beneath him. He had an aura which held time captive, just as the guards held the mob outside. He took a sip of his fresh, green, cup of tea, stroked his long white beard gently, and started to speak slowly, albeit impatiently:
"So what are you coming for son?"
The tiny student fretted relentlessly, but tried to maintain his composure nevertheless "I came to you for wisdom Grandmaster"
"What kind of wisdom son?"
"Wisdom that will hold me from hating my enemies, but prevent me from indulging my friends" the student answered immediately.
"Well...do you have a pen?"
"Actually I have something better" the student answered with a smile on his face, as he took out his tablet pc from between his rags.
"Well, well, I guess you're ready" the grandmaster said as his eyes fixed forward as if he was talking to the ether. The student nodded his head as he held the stylus firmly.
"get this...

It is easy being a hero when no one else is in the room

"
The student looked puzzled, but started writing nevertheless. The grandmaster continued:
"

The worst kind of loneliness is that inside your head

"
The student now looked really confused, but the thought of interrupting his master never crossed his head. The master's eyes narrowed, as he spoke these final words:
"and,

When in the market for thought, take a cue from the market of food; The smartest stand in the shortest queue

"
Upon uttering those words, the master reclined in his chair, and looked to the student who gathered his stuff and half-kneeled to his master.
"Thank you Grandmaster. These would be words that I'll teach my sons to teach theirs"
"Slick, huh?" the master said with a smile on his face
"Totally cool" the student said "You're da man!"
The master smiled "Now get the hell out of here!" the master yelled.
The student bowed, and walked out hesitantly!
Just before he crossed the door, the master called "And make sure to check this out. Now GO!"

Tags: words, of, wisdom, maxim

The Anatomy of Conflict

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Nothing about a Cuban missile crisis here...
Rather, a more trivial type of conflict. Or so it appears.
I'm pretty sure that some of you had been following the argument me and Sandmonkey are having recently. (If you hadn't, read my post, and his rebuttal)
What is happening basically is that, being an avid reader of Sandmonkey's, I tend to agree with him on certain issues, while I don't feel particularly crazy about others. But, hey nobody said that reading for somebody means that you should agree with him on everything.
I don't want to get into the details of this specific argument, but I didn't like what he said about a specific topic, and I decided to take him to task. The guy replied and so far, he had been a class act (poked a little fun, but hey, I was a bit cheeky myself)
Anyways, the interesting part wasn't us (me and sandmonkey), it was the commentators.
Now, I really believe that at some point during human evolution the gene responsible for level-headed, unbiased thinking got lost. But you tend to believe (or hope more accurately) that this gene would be over-represented in the blog-reading population. After all, here are some guys who had the common sense to substitute manipulative mainstream media with media-of-their-peers. This idea is also enforced by all the talk about how blogging is really about the conversation, and not about the broadcast, or the juicy sound-bite. You also hope that the fact that most blogs are text based, permanent, and anonymous that people would be able to asses an idea for its merit, without regard to who is saying it, or what are the preconceived opinion about the group of people he belongs to (ethnically, religiously, culturally, socially, etc...).
Sounds funny?
Well it is. Because it certainly isn't true (BOCTAOE).
Our argument (which I think we aren't taking so heatedly) has evolved into a tribal tug. Not that any reader's input isn't welcomed, but commentators on both blogs were enthusiastically trying to prove their loyalty to the blog they read everyday (more on sandmonkey's side this one), or their hatred of the other blog. Some people are calling me a 'suicide bomber admirer' which goes to prove, among other things, the kind of black-and-white perception some people have of everything. For some reason, people can't get the fact, that people can disagree about certain things, while agree on lots of other things. People are so stuck in the you're-with-us-or-against-us mentality of yore (wait a second, didn't Bush say that...well, I'm having a truce with the man, so I won't go there). They also can't understand a sentence like "I don't approve of suicide bombings under any circumstances". Funny!
I can easily imagine how this can evolve. I can get all angry at Sandmonkey, and his readers, and write something foolish like "it is like the redneck road-show over there" (I wanted an excuses to say it! sorry!), and he can respond by saying, I don't know, something like "readers at Tomanbay's enjoy lobbing grenades on weekends", I don't know. At this point, more and more people will jump into the fray, and it will eventually turn into a scene similar to any street fight in an Egyptian street where two people will be having an argument about something, when people crowd, start taking sides, start shooting obscenities at each other, and in less than 10 minutes, what started as a little argument can escalate to a full scale war. Of course feeling loyal to my readers I would have to take an even nuttier stand against him, and he will be forced to do the same. And the cycle will go on, and on, and on.

Now take a moment to think about this: what I have just described is just a virtual argument in cyberspace between two bloggers. It is as close to inconsequential as you could possibly get. But, don't you see that this is the way most conflicts evolve in real life?

I wouldn't go any further. Just think about it!

P.S.: In case you're wondering, I like the Bugs Bunny way of solving conflicts. When Elmer Fudd would get mad, he will kiss him! Mwwwwah!

Tags: blogging, conflict, resolution

Take Off Your Yellow Posters

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Well, according to Osama El-Baz (Mubarak, Sr.'s political advisor), the 'family' doesn't intend on "putting forward the president's 42-year-old son Gamal as a successor".
So, he was sincere all along. Sorry, my bad!
Kefaya, enough already. No inheritance of presidency...Yay!

My call: it is sooner than what everybody expects!

P.S.: Is it just me, or is this excellent portrait of Gamal, by Bahgoury in Ahram Weekly, a little more critical than the caption would like us to believe?

Tags: egypt, gamal, mubarak, president, ndp, kefaya, baz

Spelling Bee

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Never thought a spelling bee can cause all this excitement!!!

Via Seth's Blog

Tags: spelling, bee, funny, video

Me And My Blogger Peeps

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(I'm on an egomanical-titles roll today)
Listen, when I first started this blog, I didn't intend at all to start picking on people. That's the reason why I never chatted on-line, or posted to on-line forums before. It was like I-can-type-more-obscenities-faster-than-you kind of competition. Not really my cup of tea.
But, I find it really hard to keep my mouth shut.
So Sandmonkey, sorry but I had to do this.
Here goes.
Listen buddy, you seem like a nice guy (a bit hyperactive, but nice anyways), and I happen to share a lot of opinions with you. I even added you to my links (look to your right), so really nothing bad between us. I really share your hate for closed minded ideologists who refuse to open up to the world, and to communicate about their differences. I also share your resentment of people who decide to write-off people and ideas from the get-go without giving them the opportunity to explain themselves or to decipher their motives. I also find it really hard to sympathize with people who dismiss an entire country like the USA, when it is standing for the values of democracy and free trade. And, I couldn't agree on you more that we can't ask all people to be replicas of each others, but rather all we can hope for is for people to be civilized despite their differences.

Uh..wait a second...why am I sympathizing with you again?
(if you didn't get it, click on the links above to see how he didn't stand for the things he said he would stand for)

Look Sandmonkey, I believe that you stand for the things that you said you stand for. I can understand also the pressure of having to post 5000 times a day; there isn't really that many topics to speak about. But my problem is that you sometime send very mixed signals. For example I know that you're against the moronic opposition to the Dubai ports deal, but then you posted this, and I was like, what does this monkey mean? (no insult intended). But I tended to go over those things.
Until it was today. In two successive posts, you single-handedly diminished any suspicion I might had that you're actually a libertarian, as you claim you are. In the first one you tried to debase this singer guy (singer! rings any bells?), and kept second guessing him, because he sang a song about veiled girls. Big deal! I mean I might not approve of girls being forced to wear veils, but that doesn't mean that the guy is a fraud, or that he is a hypocrite, or that he is 'exploiting religion', and he most certainly didn't imply that "..Very bad western world. Very very bad!..". It just means that he doesn't agree with you on everything! So what?! You should be able to "tolerate" this, and actually praise the fact that he is taking a stand against Bin Laden (even if only verbally), something which we both know, isn't very popular with neo-muslims.
In the second post however, you topped yourself. You were very successful in emulating the thought process of radical, extremist, fanatical jihadiys, you're having issues with. These guys would have a sheikh come to them to tell them that a certain book is bad, and they shouldn't even read it, but rather avenge for their religion and kill the author. Well, you didn't exactly call for killing the director of the movie, (as I said, I believe you're good), but you, nevertheless, had the audacity to say that about a movie (any movie) :

even before seeing this movie, I declare that I stand against it and what it stands for, and I won't be hailing it in any way, even if it's good

Now, don't you agree with me that some Wahabi nutjob can say the same exact phrase about "The Passion of The Christ" for example?
Now if you intend to reply to that, please don't sound-bite me. I don't approve of suicide bombings under any circumstances. I even wrote about that earlier, and got some angry comments. But I don't approve of bank robberies either, but I like "Bonnie and Clyde", and as I said earlier, I really don't believe in Scorsese's interpretation of Christ's story, but I like the movie all the same.
Nobody who dismiss a song or a movie on face value can be called 'libertarian' in my book. No body!

The above piece was written in the best of intentions. Please read it carefully, or else you're going down SM. Not because of me, but because of your failure to uphold the principles which you claim to ascribe to.
But hey, they say that dissin' is the greatest form of admiration! Respect!

update: Sandmonkey just replied to the post here. Couldn't be classier. Thanks mate, seriously. And I'll have to agree that criticism is flattering, you lucky bastard. (And thanks for the link too...Mwah!)
Here is the real reply. Must read. (So you were trying to contradict yourself to fool idiots, like myself, into reacting in a way which will eventually shock westerners by contradicting their views of us! Brilliant! SM...Mwwwwwah!)
Read my analysis of this debate, here.

Me And My Bush

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...the president! Bush, the president, you dirty-minded $%#$.... God!

It's no secret that I am not the veterans for truth Bush fan club honorary president. Heck, I'm not even a member. If there was ever a the-man-is-a-dim-ventriloquist-dummy club, I would join in a heart beat. This has nothing to do with me being a liberal, communist, islamist fundamentalist, abortion loving, girly man...it is just that everytime I look in his eyes -in the immortal words of Dave Letterman-"[I] get the feeling that someone else is driving"
But I'll have to take that back.
Bush is finally showing some backbone.
You all know the thing with Dubai ports company deal. In case you don't, here is the thing: An Emirati Company is bidding to buy the right to manage 8 American ports. The president, always the free trade loving guy he is, ok'ed the deal. Respectable senators on the hill had another opinion all together. Some senators labeled this deal as a 'serious breach of American national security', while others thought it essentially means that Qaida gains control of American ports. Some republican hawk (Rep. Duncan Hunter, R-Calif.) even called for a divestment of other ports, when George Stephanopolous asked him why they didn''t object to other countries (including China!) controlling other American ports. Some politicians are even claiming that UAE was actually a sponsor of Qaida!!!
What I think however, is that as tempting as it is to guess that all American politicians across the board are having an extreme case of foreigner-paranoia, the matter has a very fundamental political underpinning. Bush's popularity is sinking, and this situation provided an excellent opportunity for 1)republicans to dissociate themselves from him, and 2)democrats to actually get on the right of republicans (especially, president hopeful Hillary Clinton, whom I'm beginning to worry about the prospects of her winning the elections--we'd have a very stressful couple of days each month!).
Bush is, as always, steadfast in his position, saying that he will veto any decision by the congress to stop the deal (C'mon the man only got 2 more years in office, and didn't use the veto yet). So, I guess that we'll have to just wait and see.
Meanwhile, my suggestion to Emiraties is this, and I'm being extremely serious now: if congress stopped the deal, boycott the US. Really, there needn't to be any ideological reason for this boycott. It's simply a matter of defending free trade; the US congress doesn't think that UAE is a trustworthy trade partner, so why should the UAE think that the US is any good. If the US is to promote free trade, it should practice what it preaches.
And, no flag-burning please.

Tags: USA, UAE, dubai, ports, bush

Just so it would be on record: Encore

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With all the speculations regarding whether Gamal is next in line for the Egyptian presidency, especially in the wake of his engagement, I thought it would be appropriate to repost this, as it tells us what the man himself thinks:

During a talk show at Ewart hall, AUC in May 2003, a friend of mine mustered his courage and asked the guest, Gamal Mubarak, whether he intended to run for presidency, and if he did, would it be in the 'Syrian' way?...And his exact words were(he spoke in Arabic, but here is an approximate translation): "As for the guy who asked me whether I intend to run for presidency, don't think that you're so smart, or something, I have been asked this question hundreds of times, so don't think you're in anyways special, but here is my answer: No, I don't intend to run at all, all I want to do is to focus at doing a good job in my current position".

What surprised me, other than his rather aggressive and intimidating tone, was the absolute clarity and crispness with which he declared his position. If he did run for the elections, then the NDP didn't just borrow a page from Bill Clinton's or Tony Blair's books, but it seems they might be avid followers of the great Goebbels himself, and his big lie technique.

(That was originally posted on 13/9/2005)

Tags: egypt, gamal, mubarak, president, ndp, engagement

First Ladies

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As I said before, Gamal Mubarak's engagment to Khadiga El-Gammal is generating tremendous interest over here in Egypt, and no where it's more evident than in the search terms leading to this blog.
I was recently talking with somebody who was a bit skeptical about the role any first lady would have anyways. My comeback was something like "haven't you ever been to an Egyptian house?!", at which thought his eyes widened, and he exclaimed "actually, she would be very influential...the budget would have to run through her first!".
Thank God Khadiga is an economics major!
Anyways, for a bit of history about Egyptian first ladies check this very well-researched historical roundup. A lot of very interesting facts. For example, did you know that all Egyptian first ladies since the revolution of 1952 have been half-Egyptians ? (As far as I know, Khadiga is Egyptian all over!)

Thanks Senefru for the inspiration!

Tags: egypt, gamal, khadiga, first, lady

New Google Queries: "Fool, Tameya, Dina New Video"!

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(me doing 'I told you so' dance!)
Heads up:
www.Google.com launched www.Google.com.eg. Any chance that would be similar to Google.com.cn?
Hope not!

update: so far so good. Queries for "mubarak", "gamal mubarak", "kefaya", "ayman nour", "الاخوان المسلمين" and "human rights" return the same number of results in google.com and google.com.eg. Actually, searching for "mubarak" in google.com.eg returns 10,000 more documents than google.com! I wonder why!
Tell me if you're getting different results
update 2: Actually, this is not exactly an update. I recently did a post about the search words I was getting here. Now this is so good to miss; somebody is looking for "gamal mubarak engagement photo"! Yeah right!
By the way, people are going absolutely crazy about this thing; 90% of the searches that lead to this blog are for "gamal mubarak engagement party", "gamal mubarak khadiga", "khadiga al gammal", or, ironicaly enough "ahmed fouad negm"! Again, if you just came in, click here, here, or here.

Tags: google, egypt, china

A Breath of Fresh Air

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When I first began writing this blog, I didn't intend to delve into religious topics. Part of the reason is that, the way I was educated, mixing religion into other topics (political, social, etc...) was just a way for dominating the conversation, and ridiculing any other points of view; as no mortal point of view can possibly surpass "God's". Actually, I still believe in that, because I can still see people arguing vehemently in support of doubtful ideologies, and shady politics, and attributing all of this to divine messages, and nonnegotiable facts.
But, unfortunately, you don't get to choose your battles.
So, amid all the confusion that I can see all around the world about Islam, I felt, as a Muslim, that I had to throw in my 2 cents.
It just happened that at the same time I have been following the writings and TV interviews of Egypt's Mofti (religious judge, sort of) Ali Gomaa, and to tell you the truth, he provided hope for me amid all the depression that is all around.
You see, religion will continue to play dominant role for people in this part of the world; this is just the way it is. It has nothing to do with Islam in particular. Mid-eastern Christians, for example, are on average more religious than other Christians. The same goes for Jews. And it goes all the way back to the times of the pharaohs. For better or worse, religion is crucial to the self identity of people around here, and the most we can hope for is that there is strong religious leadership which is aware of what's happening around it and is able to evolve and integrate with the times and the state of the world.
This is where Al-Azhar comes in, and where people like Ali Gomaa come in. Read through this interview he gave Al-Ahram Weekly 5 years ago, before he was appointed as Mufti (really read it, take your time, and stop juggling between windows!), and you'll see signs of somebody who is really in sync with the world, and who sees progress as the natural development of religion, unlike the stuck-in-time mentality of Ossama and Co.
Of course, he is strong on cultural specificity, which I respect, and kind of agree with, as the topic of globalization and how the world should integrate together is still a topic of debate for a lot of "western" thinkers as well. But even though, take notice of how he sees those cultural differences should be ironed out.
People like Ali Gomaa, and similar moderate Muslims are very important smearing targets for fundamentalist groups. Those groups have realized long ago that those enlightened scholars are the main obstacle between them and dominating the public mind. To overcome this, they relentlessly try to debase them through different means. The most common for somebody like Ali Gomaa, or the Grand Sheikh of Azhar, is pointing out that they're government-appointed, and are therefore as credible as their employer. Which I think is stupid, because even an entity intent on taking all the wrong decisions, will, without doubt, take at least one right one if even out of error. In this case I think this would be Ali Gomaa. But don't take my word for it, read the interview. A Must Read!!

Tags: egypt, moderate, islam, ali, gomaa

Crazy Search Terms

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Well, here is the deal. I looked through my traffic statistics and extracted the search words that lead the uninitiated visitors helplessly to my blog. Some of these queries are so hilarious, I feel guilty looking through them. But for the interest of keeping everybody up to date with what other people are thinking about, and maybe answering a couple of those queries which aren't fully answered on the blog, I present to you "Crazy Search Words" (sound of Paul Shaffer trying to put the 3 words into a musical tune)

1. The most searched topic recently was, you guessed it, Gamal Mubarak having a bab...err... a fiancee. We had all types of queries about this topic ("Gamal Mubarak engagement", "Khadiga EL Gammal", "gamal mubarak marriage"), which are, you know, normal. However, one particular googler was ahead of the curve. He was trying to search for: "Khadiga Mubarak"! Which is really cutting into the chase; only one woman in Egypt, gets her husband's last name...got it?!
   For coverage of the topic, click here, here, and here
   
2. A query which the blog receives almost daily is for info about "Nogom FM". For the uninitiated it is an FM station in Cairo. The reason why I get all that traffic from this particular word is really beyond me. I mentioned it once here. If you want more information, here's a link to their sister station Nile FM (that's the closest I could get!) Good luck!
   
3. What tells you that a particular reader is quintessentially Egyptian? At the height of fear that a bird flu epidemic would break in Egypt, he/she was searching for this "egyptian jokes + flu" Typical!
   
4. There was a lot of interest also in football. Especially, at the height of the African Cup early this month. Some queries were wondering if "fans cannot get football tickets in egypt"? Well, they can't. Other queries were a bit more enigmatic though: "abo treka rumor"...what rumor...fill me in! And, "barakat mails of february 2006"!! (no idea!)
5. Finally, a reader had a very, what should I say?, intriguing question: "how to spot an ikhwan"? Well, you'll have to look for the 666 on their...umm...let me pass on that! If anybody have an answer though, please share it in the comments.

That's all for now!
(sound of Paul Shaffer trying to put "Crazy Search Words" into a musical tune, again)

Tags: search, terms, words, crazy, paul shaffer (yeah right!, gamal, football, bird flu

Ignorantselfishertarianism!!

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For a while, I wasn't exactly sure of my political bias. Conservatism is very grumpy for me, but on the other hand, I always thought that liberals lack backbone. Even on economic issues, I am all for welfare and looking after the poor and the needy, but at the same time the idea of having my morning espresso rationed doesn't get me all that excited.
In short, I was confused.
But that was only until I saw the shimmering lights of Ignorantselfishertarianism.

Tags: political, philosophy

Flags Are Burning!

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See? the phrase is catchy!
"The flags are burning"!
cool...
Ok, ok, here is the thing. I was talking with somebody about the madness that is going all around us, and how the west only takes notice of what's happening here when flags start burning. And it occurred to me; as I have taken liberty with deleting words from dictionaries before, why not contribute positively and add an actual idiom. Hence, "The flags are burning"!

flag is burning: (idiom) the situation is getting vocally out of hand; flag burners are incapable of taking further actions against the countries those flags represent; foreign citizens should be deported as the situation can escalate to embassy burning or worse, cheese burning. Plus, the mention of this phrase is known to cause a state of euphoria for local flags dealers. Not to be confused with bridges are burning as those have been burnt along time ago.

That would be like, totally cool! (my schoolgirl impression)

Tags: new idiom, flag, burning

This Is Gonna Be BIG!

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This is all over the news.
A group of "western" intellectuals, most of whom are from "eastern" origins, mind you, have jointly published a manifesto declaring their opposition to "Islamism" as a form of totalitarianism (the -ism seems to do the trick!), and urging everybody to stand together to "assure universal rights to oppressed or discriminated people". Fair enough!
You can read the full transcript, and follow international reactions here.

The manifesto, as it stands, is balanced, straight-forward, and, frankly, a bit inconsequential. It would be funny though to see how this gets morphed, and deformed as it propagate.
I am putting all my money on this: unprecedented demonstrations erupt on Friday, after the prayers, across the middle east. Calls for boycotting the "west" are everywhere (especially your local supermarket). Ahmadinejad issues a counter-manifesto declaring opposition and refusal to ideals of democracy, and tolerance. He ponders privately "Is it permissible to issue another fatwa against Rushdie? I read somewhere that two death fatwas can invalidate each other!". Ahram says the manifesto is a "dangerous escalation", while Al-Jazeera airs a secret tape of the satanic rituals performed by the signees before they penned the declaration. An Imam somewhere declares that "all manifestos are haram to start with". MB chicks cry while holding Korans, and demonstrating in front of Cairo university. And, I almost forgot, the EU flag (it was getting a bit out of hand with all these countries, so this will do) is burned. Of course, together with the American and Israeli ones.
Wanna bet?

Tags: egypt, islamism, decleration, manifesto, Ahmadinejad, reactions, betting