"Now?! Whatever Happened To Good Timing?!!"

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In a surprising move (not as much for its nature, as for its timing amid all the protests from pro-reform activists), Ahmed Nazif, asked the parliament to renew the emergency law, citing Dahab as justification.
So, for the uninitiated, this essentially mean one thing "NO assembly of more than 3 people, right to freedom from random arrests, free press, uncorrupt government, civil state, freeing of political prisoners FOR YOU!"
This Sucks! (Yeah with a capital S)

Update 1: The law apparently passed from the parliament!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow, that was fast, I didn't even feel a thing!
Update 2: Wtf?? Apparently the people's representatives in the parliament missed the fact that the whole idea of the parliament is to voice your opinion, with your voice! Not use banners to do that!!! Yeah...MB representatives carried (Arabic - English[machine-translated])"No For Emergency Law" banners during the session, so NDP's representatives carried "No For Terrorism" banners, so (yeah it goes on ) the MB representatives responded by carrying "No For Emergency, No For Terrorism" banners!!!!! That's the parliament for God's sake, not a fuckin' football stadium!! I want to cry!!
Update 3: I'm in the mood for doing something illegal, just to piss off the emrergilaw. Do you know that it's illegal in the Egyptian law to hang a flag on a non-government building!!!!!!(I swear it's true!!!) Let's hang some flags!!! (Oh...I'm so evil!)

Tags: egypt, police, freedom, emergency, law, mubarak

How Big are Those Prisons Anyhow?

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It is either that:
a) I know one too many outlaws; or
b) The government is arresting everybody those days
I go for b)
After having a couple of friends snatched at a checkpoint in Dahab (to be later released, thank god), another guy I know is being held (probably by Amn El Dawla) for participating in last Monday's sit-in in front of the Judges' Club (the same day, Judge Mahmoud Hamza was beaten up). His friends set up a blog with lots of information, and updates.
For all it is worth, go visit!

Newsweek: Right On Mark

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For an American mainstream magazine, this article in this week's Newsweek is admirably insightful. Nothing earth-shattering though. The same everybody is saying: Mubarak is cracking down on pro-democracy advocates rather than islamists, he is setting the stage for Gamal to rise, and Ayman Nour is our Che Guevara (enough with the sobbing over Nour, the man is inflated by too much expectations already). Glad that the story about the Judges struggle is getting picked up in big-time media, though.

Tags: egypt, mubarak, mb, ayman, nour, gamal

Akef's Non-Positions

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Stayed up late to watch an interview of Mahdi Akef, the Muslim Brotherhood Supreme Guide on MBC. Here are my remarks:

1. Akef seemed to be chiefly interested in two things during the interview: a)Save face after the disclosure of his infamous interview, by reiterating "I respect Egyptians" every second of the interview; and b)Continue the MB's suspicious non-positions, vague, attitude.
2. The MB is acutely aware that their strength lies more in the perceived than in the real. Meaning: if we keep repeating that we are strong, people will think we're strong, so they'll either join us or fear us. Examples of what he said: "all the world is afraid from us", "we could have contested more than the 120 seats we ran for in parliament, but didn't want to embarrass the regime"
3. As I mentioned earlier, Akef seems to be confused about the relation between the MB and Egypt (or more accurately, I am). He kept referring to Egyptians through out the interview in third persons, as in "I respect Egyptians...", "I deal with Egyptians...", etc... Which is kindda confusing to somebody like me: do the ikhwan see themselves as Egyptians, or should the Egyptians be ikhwans (i.e. which is the bigger group? who is your loyalty to?)
4. Financing. Ooops! A mine field right there. The interviewer (Mahmoud Saad) aptly asked him about the sources of the MB financing, to which Akef answered the jaw-droopingly brazen answer "our sources are secretive and will remain this way"!!!! (at a later point of the interview he said that our financing is from our pockets, but given that the MB spans 70 countries as he claimed, this could mean that the money is coming from anywhere really)
5. Vague answers. He said that one of the goals of the MB is to spread culture. When asked what kind of culture, he just kept repeating "high culture, good culture..." It is either he didn't want to say Islamic culture upfront, which is unlikely, or, as I suspect, he is just babbling. He also didn't answer clearly about what they mean by having khilafa (a completely religiously unsupported historical concept, which essentially boils down to an individual man's rule). He said that it is not just the dream of the MB, but of everybody! And then when he was asked about the nature of that rule, he just didn't answer. When Saad asked him whether it is something like the EU but with each country having its autonomy, he said "but they have one foreign minister, don't they?" "yes!" "then we're in agreement"!!!!
6. He kept denying that the MB is involved in any sort of violent activities, and kept evading questions about the MB's historic involvement in violence.
7. Stupid government moment. Farouk Hosny, Egypt's culture minister, called at the middle of the interview to respond to something the first guest (Ibrahim Eissa) said. He seemed to be interested in saving face. The strange part is that he didn't take aim at Akef at all. The last time I checked, the MB was a forbidden political group, and are in clear opposition to the government, so why not act as a political person and use the air time to counter their views, dismiss it, or even ridicule it?? It is either he didn't get the talking points memo, or, as an artist, he was too afraid to get his feelings hurt by Akef (my suspicion: both!)

I tried to have an open mind while watching the interview, but my feelings about the MB didn't change much after it: They should have a clear agenda for what they're trying to do (i.e. policies, and projects, not just theories, and banner-speak). The "we're good people, aiming for good things" attitude I believe is embarrassingly inadequate.

Tags: egypt, politics, ikhwan, mubarak, akef

Excellent Photos

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Such is the beauty of Web 2.0.
While surfing aimlessly at Flickr, I came across these hauntingly "real" pictures of Thursday standoff in front of the Judges Club. Go check.
Courtesy of mattjsaw

There is a Reason There are Quotes #3

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A revolution is coming - a revolution which will be peaceful if we are wise enough; compassionate if we care enough; successful if we are fortunate enough - but a revolution which is coming whether we will it or not. We can affect its character, we cannot alter its inevitability.

John F. Kennedy

hat tip: Worldwide Sawdust

Tags: get, it, please

Let The Comics Begin...

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I really believe in the power of comedy. Especially in a country like Egypt. The day we start cracking jokes (because if you haven't noticed, it had been a very long time since there were any good new jokes), is the day I know that this country is getting back on track.
Anyways, I followed closely the last American presidential elections, and the one thing that I really admired was JibJab's cartoons (check those out in sequence:This Land, Good to Be in DC!, Second Term).
I think it is often the case that laughing at something is the first step towards making sense of it, and feeling empowered enough to be able to confront it. (Some may argue that it is a sort of an adapting mechanism; so instead of rejecting something, you learn to accept it and live with it--maybe).
The reason I am mentioning that is that somebody recently sent me this link, which is, umm, ok. Certainly not the best (and borrowed extensively from Sims :-;), but it can be the start towards having real political parody.
So, to the creatives out there: I am giving you ideas, do your thing!
To everybody else: have you heard of any good jokes recently? Share!

Tags: egypt, politics, mubarak, comedy

Making Sense of it All

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Whatever your political inclination are, your class, your level of education, or even whether you're actually in Egypt, or outside, there is one fact that is clear to everybody: this country is on the move.
Now, before dismissing my remarks as unjustified optimistic wish-wash let me just say that this movement I am referring to isn't necessarily in a positive direction. Heck, everything that is happening so far is negative (ferry, bird flu, Dahab, judges, sectarian violence, mass arrests). The regime is even getting back to completely-useless-albeit-foolish tactics. They arrested Al-Jazeera's bureau chief in Cairo for "disseminating false information", and a relatively unknown poet (Amin El-Deeb) for a really benign poem.
So, the thing isn't really all pink with rosy flowers on top.
But...
I can't see how the regime can really contain all the anger this time.
It's simply not possible at all.
With all the different parties that have axis to grind with this regime, it is quite implausible the regime would be able to crack down on everybody.
This regime is getting smaller (humiliated, defied, and criticized) by the day, and the opposition (judges, Kifaya, etc...) are getting larger by the day.
Every day is a decisive day, and even if no substantial gains are won by the opposition, they're winning more and more support, and more and more respect.


This time, and only this time, it can only get up from here.

The Judges vs. Government Showdown

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Today is set to be a decisive day in the struggle of judges against a coercive government.
Today at 10 two judges, who had the audacity to question the possibility that some judges were involved in poll rigging during last year's parliamentary elections, will face a disciplinary committee (note: they will face, not the judges who actually rigged the polls!! That's how twisted this country is).
I passed yesterday through Abdel Khalek Sarwat St (where the Judges' Club--the epicenter of the confrontation--is located). The scene there was awesome in every regard. The banners declaring the support of the Journalists' Syndication, Bar Association, and every other organization, to "Egypt's Free Judges". The writings on the walls, and on the streets ("liberated Area", "Without Mubarak, Egypt is Beautiful"). The number of central security forces trucks down there is also awesome. It is practically a war zone down there.
I happen to be working down the street from all the action today, so expect further updates, and news about what is supposed to be a very eventful day.
For background, go to Baheya's excellent post about the issue.
A video of last night's security crack down on protestors is here.

Update 1: Sirens never ceased to sound for the last half hour...will keep you updated!
Update 2: Another excellent account of yesterday's events from the Arabist.
Update 3: Well, it seems that clashes are already underway.
Update 4: A couple of ambulances are rushing towards the scene...not clear why yet (mind the scene is just next to the central ambulance facility of Cairo, so might be unrelated)
Photos are coming in. Click on the markers on the map
Update 5: The hearing was delayed (Arabic) to the 11th of May.
Update 6: Police attacked an MB protest in support of judges. Video (hattip: Waay El-Masry)
Update 7: Something to lighten up the mood.
Update 8: I went down there at around 6 PM to check. There was around 120 protestors remaining, mainly on the stairs of the journalists' Syndicate, and on the pavement of the Judges' Club (see map below). On the other side, ther was around 3000 security soldiers, around 30-40 trucks, and 4 fire engines (they use their fire hoses to disperse crowds). When I got there, soldiers were doing laps around Abd El-Khalek St. (a scare tactic apparently!!). But the clashes obviously subsided.
Update 9: Read Kifaya's account of the events (Arabic)
More photos are coming in. Click on the markers on the map

The King Had Left the Building #2

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To prove what I was saying, here is a transcript of a TV interview in Australia during which a strategic analyst confirms what I was saying: the man is taking the sun ship express!

1981

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I've been thinking a lot about this recently, and the rapidly developing events in the Sinai peninsula are only confirming my doubts: 2006 is 1981 all over again.
In case you don't know, 1981 was the year during which, on October 6th precisely, president Anwar El-Sadat was assassinated in the middle of a military parade commemorating the 6th of October victory of the Egyptian forces against Israel in 1973.
Somehow lesser known events, are the mass arrests of September 1981. Under the pretense that Sadat wanted to make sure that nothing will go wrong before Israel completed the last stage of withdrawal from Sinai in April 1982, hundreds of politicians, journalists, professionals, activists, artists, etc.. were arrested. Some historians think that these arrests were perpetuated by some elements which infiltrated the regime in order to agitate the different groups, and divide the blame of his subsequent murder among many different parties, so that the state would be helpless in retaliating (There is a saying in Arabic which translates to "His blood was divided among the tribes").
If you watch close enough, you'd find out that what we have today is a somewhat similar situation. Everybody is pissed off at the regime, and each group for its own reasons. Here is the rundown:

• Muslim Extremists: The regime, after tolerating them for a very long time, decided to crack down on the Muslim Brotherhood, just out of the blue sky. Hundreds of MB members were detained during the last couple of weeks.
• Copts: Copts feel that the government didn't protect them (and even some go as far as saying that it facilitated) the April 14th attack on three churches in Alexandria.
• Reformists: Kifaya members are detained almost daily during the numerous protests that take place in different parts of Egypt. (But are more frequent nowadays in support of the judges movement)
• Judges: Judges are pushing for more autonomy, but are being paid back by suspending two of them from work, and asking them to appear before a disciplinary committee, for exposing elections fraud during the last parliamentary elections. Some judges are even physically abused.
• Bedouins: The natives of Sinai, and most of the Egyptian desert. They see themselves as outcasts of the Egyptian political system, with meager share in any sort of development happening anywhere in Egypt. And if that wasn't enough, hundreds of them were hurdled and arrested after the Taba and Sharm attacks last year. They were treated so badly, that some believe they are actively participating in the recent attacks as some form of retaliation.

Plus, external parties:

• Sudanese: Because of the inhumane way the Egyptian police dealt with the Sudanese refugees striking at the middle of Cairo.
• Shiaa: Because of Mubarak's less than diplomatic comments about their loyalty to Iran.
• Hamas: Because Egypt has withdrawn all sorts of support for the Palestinian government, and its foreign minister even refused to meet his Palestinian counterpart.

It will be completely plausible that any, some, or all of those groups would take part in any action that is aimed at toppling the current regime in Egypt. It is only a matter of time.
Following the recent pattern of Sinai attacks (October 6th for Taba, July 23rd for Sharm, and April 25th for Dahab; all national days), the next appropriate slot would be Revolution day on July 23rd.
Or could it be May 4th??

BREAKING NEWS

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A blast outside a multinational air base in Sinai. No news of casualties yet.
Update: Well, according to Al-Jazeera web site, 2 of the multinational forces (IFOR) were injured.
Update 2: The injured soldiers are a Norwegian, a New Zelandian, and two Egyptian officers. Link
Update 3: According to Al-Jazeera TV, apparently another bomb exploded in Belbayes, Sharkiya. It apperared to have targeted a police car. I don't know why but I get the feeling that this will be a very long day!
Update 4: This is confirmed by Al-Jazeera: North Sinai witnessed TWO explositions; one at the IFOR base, and the other at Moderayet El-Amn (Security Bureau) at Ariesh.
Update 5: Link
Update 6: It appears that the explosion in Sharkia targeted a police checkpoint kameen
Update 7:The attacks are being described by Reuters as "abortive". Wonder what were the real targets?! They're also adding that nobody was hurt at all. This conflicts with earlier reports, but we'll stay tuned.
Update 8: The interior minister is denying the Sharkia bomb completly. So, I guess it was just another Jazeera hoax!
Update 9: The interior minister is saying that Bedouins are responsible for Dahab attacks. And that those who planned today explosions are related to Dahab ones.
I guess that he really jumped the gun in accusing Bedouins. Let's just hope that they are treated better than last time. Or, else...

Something To Think About

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I came across this line of poetry recently, and I think that it accurately represents how it feels being in Egypt now:

لعمرك ما ضاقت بلاد باهلها**ولكن اخلاق الرجال تضيق
(Oh, by my life, a country is never too small for its people**but people's characters can get smaller)

Think about it.

Note: It was mentioned by Heikel on his last episode in Al-Jazeera, when asked about the situation in Egypt nowadays.

How To Not Get Caught By Police in Egypt

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It is becoming increasingly harder and harder to evade being caught by the Egyptian police. If you want to pass this privilege, here are your options:

• Be Powerful: Seek a powerful position that grants you immunity from random police arrests. Something like a judge (not any judge, try to be the President of Northern Cairo's Courts). Or better, a Member of the parliament.
  
• Be Cool: Avoid all sorts of political or religious debates, and run to Dahab (Arabic) or Sharm to mingle with Russian hotties. (Two of the three names mentioned in the article as being arrested are friends of mine, so I know why they were in Dahab--and it wasn't to pop any bombs)
• Be Rocking: Don't even move outside Cairo. Just go to heavy metal parties and head-bang your night away.
• Be a Fan: Just go to the stadium and support your team!
• Be Religious: Just go to your local mosque, pray, and stay there (are you kidding me?!!)
• Be Friends with Zakaria Azmy (Arabic): Well, this will buy you some time, but again nothing is guaranteed in this country

As being a blogger still didn't make it to the list, I guess I'll just shut up now...You never know how far is too far when pushing your luck over here in Egypt.

Tags: egypt, police, freedom

Hi Honey

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Two examples of religious off-the-wallness:

1. A Muslim cleric declaring that eating honey is haram (forbidden) because, get this, bees collect nectar from flowers in other people's gardens, so they're in effect stealing it!!!!
2. The coptic church declaring that eating honey is haram during Lent because it is after all a product of a living soul!!

Now that's something we can all agree on!

Tags: egypt, muslims, copts

Cairo Spring?

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In case you were beginning to lose faith or slip into depression, as I was about to, please follow this link to Big Pharoh's brilliant (and I mean BRILLIANT) post about the national unity rally that took place in Cairo on Thursday (looks like Shubra St. to me).


This pic is just breathtaking! (I knew all those African Cup flags would come handy one day!)

Tags: egypt, alexandria, muslims, copts, cairo

Those Are Our Two Options?!!

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We (the Egyptians) are having it both ways. And not in the good sense.
This is exactly what I feared: the MB (Ikhwan) are now striking back at the government's chaotic, and bit desperate, attack on Mahdy Akef's infamous Toz.
Take this article(Arabic) for example. It is written by some Abd El-Geliel Sharnouby on the Ikhwan site. In short the author is trying to say something like: Akef's Toz is insignificant when compared to Mubarak's & Co repeated disregards, humiliations, and injustices towards the Egyptian people.
Well Mr Sharnouby, I couldn't agree with you more on the Mubarak & co side of the argument. But because somebody is committing evil, that doesn't mean that it is ok for you to do some more. There is a verse in Quran which says just that "La tazer wazera wezr ok'hra" "Nobody should be taken for the sin of another" (they're insulting us, Egyptians, using the execuse that the government does as well!!!!!).
Or do you just use Quran when it is going your way?

The Ikhwan are trying to portray this as a "we" against "them" struggle. And this is the greatest calamity of all.
Now I know how does it feel being between a rock and a hard place!

The King Had Exited The Building

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Elvis fans everywhere: excuses my trespassing.

A recent post I wrote (which wasn't intended in anyways to be an actual puzzle, and, no there would be no prizes!)...seemed to generate some interest. What surprised my though, was the fact that nobody was able to guess who I meant by this.
The story, The Emperor's New Clothes, speaks of an emperor, who as a result of his pride, end up walking down the street naked, while everybody is too afraid to tell him that he is and just continue to admire his 'invisible new clothes. Even after he himself discovers that he was butt-naked, he is too proud to admit it and continue walking!
The story is

...often used in political and social contexts for any obvious truth denied by the majority despite the evidence of their eyes, especially when proclaimed by the government

Rings any bells?
Well, here it is. I've been thinking about the thing for a while, and I came up with this conclusion. Hold on to your seats...
For all practical purposes Mubarak is dead!
[horrified looks]
Yeah, I believe he is, and we individually know that he is, but nobody can get out and say it because after all there is a lot of apparent proofs that he is still alive. Or so we tell ourselves. But I can argue that there are other proofs that support my theory.
An example:
Do you honestly think that Mubarak, a military man all his life, actually deals with softy-soft Nazif (the prime minister)? I mean think about it...do you really think that Nazif explained this whole e-government thing to Mubarak?...that would be a funny conversation:
Nazif: ..so Mr. President we're implementing this new system to cut the processing times, increase the productivity of our employees, and increase the satisfaction levels of the citizens...
Mubarak: Aeh?
Nazif: I said....
Mubarak: let those sons of $%&*# suffer a little...you know when we we're back in the military we used to spend days....
And he goes on rumbling about his military experience, and how him being a pilot helped him learn to cope with all kinds of situations.
Do you honestly think that this happens?
Now, substitute Mubarak Sr., with Jr., and the thing makes much more sense...
Nazif: ..so Mr. President's son, we're implementing this new system to cut the processing times, increase the productivity of our employees, and increase the satisfaction levels of the citizens...
Mubarak Jr: sure thing Nizi...do your thing...can you send somebody to fix my iPod?
Nazif: cando sir, right on it!
Now that seems a bit more appropriate.

Not convinced?
Another proof:
Living people watch TV. That's basic. It the sign you're alive and well. According to what Mubarak had been saying in newspapers the past couple of days, it seems that he didn't switch on his set for a while (and I mean his TV set you perv...although it makes a lot of sense this way also!!). He keeps on saying that what happened in Alexandria is a result of a conspiracy to destabilize the country, and that's not what Egypt is really like, and that he'll stand firmly against those who try to escalate the matters. It is as if he is a protected housewife who thinks that 'evil people' are doing this. Had he switched on his TV, he would have saw that his beloved-always-in-his-mind struggling class Egyptians are the ones beating each other in the streets.
So no TV means reason #2 he is walking "through the valley of the shadow of death"

More reasons?
Egypt has no diplomatic presence in Africa, the Middle East, or even the Caribbean Islands. The Palestinian FM Mahmoud El-Zahar came to Egypt but couldn't meet anybody. He even kept knocking on the door. Iran is roaming through out the region freely. The ferry guy escaped to London but nobody seems to care....

Need even more reasons?
Here is the biggie...traffic in Egypt isn't held to a complete stand still everytime he moves as much as the distance from his bedroom to the bathroom...can you believe that?!!
Heck, the man is so dead!

Tags: egypt, mubarak, theory

Is That True?

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Is Egypt the hardest hit, by bird flu, non-Asian country ??

Guess Who?

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It is not that the Emperor has no clothes, but it seems that he is apparently standing in the middle of the street waving his wooden warder at passersby, threatening that he will “stand firmly against any attempt to threaten national unity” (Al-Ahram April 15^th, P.1). While people are running around for their lives, he seems to be delusional about his once great powers, and his ability to make the world turn at his whimsy. Just like the Hussein “marshals” with bottle caps instead of insignia on their shoulders!

Can you guess who?

We So Deserve an MB Government!

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It is no secret that I'm not the world's greatest Muslim brotherhood fan. I think I have very credible worries about the level of accountability any ruler who claims to govern by divine order will have.
That's why I am really furious that somebody like Mahdy Akef, the MB Supreme Guide (that's one wacky title by the way) can get away with saying something like "Toz Fe Misr" (Screw Egypt!).
Some of you might claim that he didn't get away and that the government newspapers and TV stations are all over him for that. Granted. But what about people? Do you see anybody going all ballistic about this? I can't see anybody going to the streets with banners like "Screw you, Akef" or even "Shame on you". Nothing! It is as if nobody cares about the country.
Well, in fact, what I think happened is that some people rationalized the thing this way: "He said Toz Fe Misr because he thought that having an Islamic Caliph is more important...you know what, it makes sense...Toz Fe Misr"
If somebody can get away with insulting the whole country on tape, he can get away with anything. This is the accountability problem I was talking about.
And that is Fascism in the worst kind of way!

update: here is a link to the transcript of the interview (Arabic). Here is also a very well balanced rebuttal in Goumhoria (government newspaper, so the well balanced part is quite surprising)(Arabic also). It asks a very simple question; Mahdy Akef thinks that it is ok for any Muslim to rule a country like Egypt, yet the MB never had a supreme guide who is not Egyptian (and they have a lot of affiliate organizations everywhere)! How is that for hypocrisy?!

Tags: egypt, muslim brotherhood, mahdy, akef

Kick Ass Moderatism

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The problem with being rational and moderate, is that you're by definition unthreatening. You're not intimidating enough so that people (especially our people) would have to follow or even listen to you.
Yesterday I was talking with a couple of friends about what happened in Alexandria, and expectedly enough, one of them started the "the copts had it coming" monologue. I lashed out on him. I give him a good 'ol screw off. I think I even mentioned a body part of his mother (Egyptian curse). His reaction was amazing; he smiled and said, something like, you have a point I guess, and we should all try to cool the thing off!!
I was amazed. I tried to maintain the angry persona, but I think I failed to hide a vindication smile.
So here you go, the next time somebody tries to apologize for terrorists or claim that "Zionists are behind this" go crazy. And I mean it! You have no idea how effective that will be! We have some serious problems, and it is for everybody's good that we should take matters seriously and talk about issues openly.

Tags: egypt, alexandria, muslims, copts

Where Am I Heading?

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I thought, as I drove my car through Cairo streets on my way to work. I looked around me and people seemed to be going about their daily business. They are crowded, annoyed, smelly, and miserable, I thought. The traffic stopped for a while near an underground station, and I can only picture the metro going relentlessly between stations as just one huge casket transporting the undead through the various circles of hell. The hell of mediocrity, apathy, and bigotry. Such is a Dantian hyperbole, I thought with a melancholic smile across my face.

Cairo’s intrusive summer sun (it’s summer already over here) added to the discomfort. I remembered last Friday’s sermon. I wake up late and I had to go to a mosque other than my regular one. One of the never-ending-sermons ones. Reminiscent of the ones I had to sit through every summer in the mosques of Alexandria. The kind of sermons which goes on for a couple of hours. Anyways, last Friday’s was really annoying. The guy kept repeating really naïve arguments, and using such childish methods of persuasion, that I felt really, and deeply insulted. For the first time in my life I thought of walking away from the prayer, but then thought that my patience would be rewarded “I went to pray, AND I endured that Imam...” I remembered Friday, and I felt anger accumulating in me.

I drove for a couple of hundred of meters to be stopped again by traffic. This time I was on the 6^th of October, immediately next to an old church in Shubra. From my position, I was at the same level of the cross with the words “Blessed are the two peoples of Egypt” inscribed across it. Yeaaaaah, I reminisced. I remember reading this sentence every time I was going to my grandpa’s as a child. I always wondered who those two peoples are?

At this exact moment the radio started playing a relatively old song by Egyptian pop singer Simone. The song was sung in both Greek and Arabic. The song is a relatively “average” pop song, but no piece of music had affected me as much as the buzuki solo at the beginning of the song. I was really touched. And I started remembering…

I remembered my first week in university when I was introduced to Hero of Alexandria in my scientific thinking class. I can see him working on the steam engine (he designed it but never implemented it) in his lab overlooking the Bibliotheca Alexandrina, whose marble stairs glowed so brightly under the summer light; sailors had to cover their eyes while docking their ships. I remembered Sayed Darwish tinkering with his Ou’d on the eve of Sa’ad Zaghloul’s return from exile, and coming up with the immortal “Ya balah Zaghloul…”…I remembered old footages of priests on top of demonstrations coming out of mosques in 1919. I remembered Yehia El-Fakharany’s smile as he played Bocchi in Zezinia...the half Italian, half Egyptian playboy who roamed Alexandria’s street for love. I remembered the boys and girls strolling down the Corniche while the boy is thinking of a way to steal a quick kiss from his girl. I remembered Elizabeth Taylor courting Antony, and Alexander taming his horse on his way to his city with an angel on his finger.

The buzuki continued playing, and I started to cry…

Tags: egypt, alexandria, muslims, copts

Wake Up, Stupid!

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Our mainstream media is funny! Yeah it is corrupt, mercenary, and downright manipulative, but the extreme it is pushing it's limits to is bordering on comedy.
Take the last fiasco Mubarak caused with his less than diplomatic remarks about Shiites in Iraq. Our media is handling the thing, the same way Shaggy would: "Say it wasn't me!" They're just simply, and naively ignoring the thing, as if it didn't happen at all. They even cut out the whole part about Shiites from Mubarak's interview in TV reruns and newspapers. It just didn't happen. It is that easy for them. The fact that nearly every single Egyptian house has a satellite dish on it's roof with access to all sorts of news (and I'm not even talking about internet) doesn't seem to phase them a bit. It just didn't happen.
The irony: just beneath Mubarak's censored interview in Ahram, is an article by Ossama Government Agent Saraya, Ahram's editor in chief, trying to apologetically explain what the president really meant with his remarks!! We're like "what remarks Oss guy?, we just erased them from our brains, your Ahram says it isn't so...it must be then!"
Moron!

D'OH!

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Remember my self proclaimed brilliant idea of last week? I guess that is exactly what Mubarak needed during his interview with Al-Arabiya yesterday--when he said that Shiites are not loyal to their countries and are instead loyal only to Iran, he really could have used somebody jumping into the set screaming "Cut!! no, no, no Mr. President, you don't label the followers of a major religious sect as traitors to their own countries, it doesn't work this way, whatever happened to Egypt's extreme neutrality?! Now you're giving those Shiites at Baghdad (update: and Kuwait, and Lebanon) something to bitch about other than all the dead bodies holding traffic in the streets...please stick to the script, we're trying to have a nice finale here, ok? Make Up!!..Everybody in position...Action!"
I guess the old man freaked out when he heard that the US is contemplating nuking Iran. Yeah, right! This is exactly what the US needed to contain anti-American sentiment in the middle east!
The poor old man didn't know that Bush went on a press conference earlier this day, and had this to say:
"Gotcha! haha...I am just messin' with ya...those Iranian guys are my dawgs...I have nothing but love for the hommies over there...all this talk about nuking..it is just...between friends..you know...and this talk about how, i don't know his name, how he resembles Adolf Hitler..haha..that is priceless shit..Cheney came up with this..funny guy..really funny..thanks pops...peace out"

Tags: egypt, iran, iraq, mubarak, interview, shiaa

Redena Bi ElHam... (We Accepted Misery...)

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One of the most eloquent Egyptian proverbs is this:

Redena Bi ElHam Wi ElHam Mesh Rady Bena

...which translates to something like: We accepted misery but it just keeps rejecting us.
When you think about it, this is the worst situation you can be put in in any endeavor you undertake. Settling for a mediocrity and then failing at it. This is gotta be the worst feeling ever. At least if you fail trying to do an unexceptional business, competing for a world championship, or trying to date your dream girl, you'll never have to regret not trying; it is just a game of numbers that you didn't win.
What really sucks is settling for clumsy job, playing in junior league, or courting this seemingly unchallenging girl, just because you thought that it would be easier this way, and then -oh, the irony- failing at it.
I had a creative writing professor who once told me: "Don't write about mediocre characters, they're a dime a dozen, write about exceptional people..they don't have to be successful, but if they fail, they fail exceptionally" then he really looked to me "take a stand for authenticity, write about that!"
I guess you just can't cheat your fate!

Don't Ask

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Stranded. Couldn’t find a better word. Sometimes stranded is a word which is associated with islands. Like in “stranded on an island”. That brings a lot of memories. See, I sometime believe that “no man is an island”, but then again, sometime he is. Not even an island, a drop of water in the middle of the ocean. Can it get any lonelier? What is really troubling—yes troubling, not dramatic, or sad, just troubling –is that other drops are unaware of their need the moment this need is about to be satisfied. What I mean is: here you have a droplet of water which is about to meet another one to form a nice bigger drop, which will be smashed to million other ones later in the story, granted, but let’s say that this drop is about to meet this other drop, only to find out that you know what? Why not hold out for a while. Can anybody, any drop be that stupid? Of course both drops would smash to/cuddle in other drops eventually, it s inevitable. But what’s in the wait for A and B? I’ve read somewhere, yeah an interview of Sting in some Reader’s Digest, that the whole point of music is to actually frame silence. Interesting. So maybe the whole idea of being in that sort of bonding with the other droplet is to appreciate/despise the former/latter state of loneliness. This way it makes sense. Delayed gratification, then. I heard somewhere that we’re in the era of instant gratification. Right? I don’t know, but imagine what happens when one droplet wants instant gratification, while the other is trying to delay it. Total mess. One would be pushy, the other would be aloof. Nobody likes pushy, aloof droplets of water. Uha!

Automatic Elections

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A friend told me this story a couple of days ago. The story is about last year's constitution-amendment referendum. A bit old, but nevertheless interesting.
An in-law of his, who was sort of a junior police officer (a lieutenant I guess) was in charge of a certain polling station somewhere in Qaliubiyah, north of Cairo, when one of the employees in the station came to him:
Employee: We need more ballots..we're out of them
Officer: But only 8 or 9 people voted today..I guess you have more ballots than this
Employee: We had, but all is taken care of
Officer: ...
Employee: Don't worry, it is not the first time!

I don't know why, but I believe that this was the case in most stations, and even in the two elections that followed (presidential, and parliamentary). Not that because I believe the government is innocent, but because I know how helpful Egyptians can be!

Tags: egypt, elections, fraud

There is a Reason There are Quotes: Part Deux

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Every country has the government it deserves

Joseph Marie de Maistre

Zamalek vs Wafd For Third Place?!

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There is a joke in Egypt which goes something like this (after modification to fit the occasion): A guy asks his friend "Who won the presidential elections last year, NDP or Wafd?" "NDP" "And who won most matches between Ahly and Zamalek during the past 3 years" "Ahly" "So it is Zamalek vs Wafd for third place, huh?"

The reason I remembered this joke (which had many variations for the past 30 years or so) is the uncanny similarities between Zamalek football club, and El Wafd party, especially when it comes to their "democratic" processes. If you hadn't been following, Zamalek's elected president, Mortada Mansour, was ousted by the government, and replaced by an appointed temporary board, a decision which was revoked by court last Sunday, prompting Mansour to return to Zamalek with the words of Al-Hajjaj entering Baghdad in mind: "I see ripe heads, whose time of harvest had come, and I shall gather them". Noaman Gomaa, Wafd's elected president on the other hand, was ousted by the general assembly of the party, a decision which he refused, prompting massive clashes between supporters of both sides, which climaxed on Saturday, leading to the arrest of Gomaa, and some of the opposition leaders.
In both cases, the two institutions had a serious problem following a peaceful democratic process; both witnessed violent clashes; both were appointed un-democratically elected leaderships; and both appointed leaderships are, unfortunately, much better than the democratic ones.
So what about the finalists (Ahly and NDP)? Well, they both witnessed very long periods of stability due to the presence of very strong, patriarchal leaders.
A funny thing though: when Saleh Seliem (Ahly's late president) died, the new board prevented his son (actor Hesham Seliem) from entering the club citing his failure to pay club fees for the last 30 years. Think about that!

Tags: egypt, ahly, zamalek, wafd, politics, football