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Thursday, April 20, 2006

The King Had Exited The Building

Moved on! Check TheCairoCalls

Elvis fans everywhere: excuses my trespassing.

A recent post I wrote (which wasn't intended in anyways to be an actual puzzle, and, no there would be no prizes!)...seemed to generate some interest. What surprised my though, was the fact that nobody was able to guess who I meant by this.
The story, The Emperor's New Clothes, speaks of an emperor, who as a result of his pride, end up walking down the street naked, while everybody is too afraid to tell him that he is and just continue to admire his 'invisible new clothes. Even after he himself discovers that he was butt-naked, he is too proud to admit it and continue walking!
The story is
...often used in political and social contexts for any obvious truth denied by the majority despite the evidence of their eyes, especially when proclaimed by the government

Rings any bells?
Well, here it is. I've been thinking about the thing for a while, and I came up with this conclusion. Hold on to your seats...
For all practical purposes Mubarak is dead!
[horrified looks]
Yeah, I believe he is, and we individually know that he is, but nobody can get out and say it because after all there is a lot of apparent proofs that he is still alive. Or so we tell ourselves. But I can argue that there are other proofs that support my theory.
An example:
Do you honestly think that Mubarak, a military man all his life, actually deals with softy-soft Nazif (the prime minister)? I mean think about it...do you really think that Nazif explained this whole e-government thing to Mubarak?...that would be a funny conversation:
Nazif: ..so Mr. President we're implementing this new system to cut the processing times, increase the productivity of our employees, and increase the satisfaction levels of the citizens...
Mubarak: Aeh?
Nazif: I said....
Mubarak: let those sons of $%&*# suffer a little...you know when we we're back in the military we used to spend days....
And he goes on rumbling about his military experience, and how him being a pilot helped him learn to cope with all kinds of situations.
Do you honestly think that this happens?
Now, substitute Mubarak Sr., with Jr., and the thing makes much more sense...
Nazif: ..so Mr. President's son, we're implementing this new system to cut the processing times, increase the productivity of our employees, and increase the satisfaction levels of the citizens...
Mubarak Jr: sure thing Nizi...do your thing...can you send somebody to fix my iPod?
Nazif: cando sir, right on it!
Now that seems a bit more appropriate.

Not convinced?
Another proof:
Living people watch TV. That's basic. It the sign you're alive and well. According to what Mubarak had been saying in newspapers the past couple of days, it seems that he didn't switch on his set for a while (and I mean his TV set you perv...although it makes a lot of sense this way also!!). He keeps on saying that what happened in Alexandria is a result of a conspiracy to destabilize the country, and that's not what Egypt is really like, and that he'll stand firmly against those who try to escalate the matters. It is as if he is a protected housewife who thinks that 'evil people' are doing this. Had he switched on his TV, he would have saw that his beloved-always-in-his-mind struggling class Egyptians are the ones beating each other in the streets.
So no TV means reason #2 he is walking "through the valley of the shadow of death"

More reasons?
Egypt has no diplomatic presence in Africa, the Middle East, or even the Caribbean Islands. The Palestinian FM Mahmoud El-Zahar came to Egypt but couldn't meet anybody. He even kept knocking on the door. Iran is roaming through out the region freely. The ferry guy escaped to London but nobody seems to care....

Need even more reasons?
Here is the biggie...traffic in Egypt isn't held to a complete stand still everytime he moves as much as the distance from his bedroom to the bathroom...can you believe that?!!
Heck, the man is so dead!

Moved on!

7 Comments:

Hey Tomanbay

I know this is off topic, but in the last couple of weeks it has seemed that you could use something to cheer you up.

I found this artical from the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine. As a Dilbert fan myself, I think this is just what you need to read.

I have a link for it at my blog.

By Blogger jelsted, at April 20, 2006 5:43 PM  

Hey, about the e-gov, I heard that when Mubarak went to open the Smart Village, he thought he was openning a literally smart village, i.e. an electric sakkya with no Ox to pull it, ... etc. I guess he's not dead, he just caught the "psychologically disturbed" virus

By Blogger Amino, at April 20, 2006 8:03 PM  

That conversation with Nazeef was hilarious, reminds me when he went to an oriental rug factory and the owner told him that by the end of the year half of their rugs will be hand made, only to have this amazed and confused look of disapproval on mubarak's face (he looked as if he's talking to a mad man), then he struck the owner with one of his historical suggestions "we son3 yad lahe, matgeebo makan kefaya" (and why hand made, just buy enough machines). So he really doesn't have to be senile to be a galanf, and you have to keep in mind that 78 isn't that old (Churchill was five years older and much less fit when he became a prime minister again, but Churchill would have probably advised the factory owner to go more hand made, but you know what, with all his fallibilities I'd choose mubarak over churchill any time of day).

By Anonymous Mohamed, at April 20, 2006 8:23 PM  

Well according to the Pharaohnic tradition, it was significant to engrave the name of the dead on the walls of the compartment containing the sarcophagus-so that he can be called to rise from the dead and become part of the eternal world---This is just a heads up, in the instance the our Pharaoh is dead...do not even mention his name so that he can rust in peace...

By Anonymous Om Abdul Karim, at April 20, 2006 10:19 PM  

I agree. Extremely dead. Mesh momken! Ana kont bad7ak 3ala nafsee tool el seneen dee ;)

Love your humour bro.

By Blogger Faisal, at April 22, 2006 3:53 AM  

The author of "Emperor's new clothes" Hans Christian Andersen is the pride of Danish litterature. Shouldn't he be inckuded in the boycott ? In one of his fairy tales, he claimed that Turks(Muslims) wear pyjamas.....be insulted, be very insulted.

Sorry, couldn't resist :-)

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