The Conspiracy Theory To End All Conspiracy Theories

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What's worse than a conspiracy theorist?
A conspiracy theorist with integrative tendencies!
Let me elaborate. As you all know of course, Egypt won the African Cup because Cote D'Ivoire passed over the match to repay Egypt's elimination of Cameroon in the World Cup qualification round, which took Cote D'Ivoire to Germany. It is also common knowledge that the Danish cartoons are part of a Zionist plot to humiliate Muslims and incite them to react violently and diminish their image (which, ironically enough, was exactly what happened!). The ferry of course drowned because of a plan by the ship owner to claim the insurance money for himself. And the bird flu is, as you know, caused by devious, 'foreign' birds.
We all know this!
But when a guy told me that: the government encouraged people to follow the African cup so that they ignore the Danish cartoon thing, and that the ferry sank because port officials were busy following the cup, which we won as a result of an agreement with the Ivorians again to dismiss attention from the ferry tragedy, only to be punished for our feeble response to the Danes by the bird flu epidemic, which the government delayed announcing because of, you guessed it, the damn cup, when he said that I didn't know whether to punch him in the face or to congratulate him on his ability to think about the 'big picture'!!

Tags: egypt, ferry, african, cup, football, bird flu, danish, cartoons