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Thursday, February 23, 2006

The Conspiracy Theory To End All Conspiracy Theories

Moved on! Check TheCairoCalls

What's worse than a conspiracy theorist?
A conspiracy theorist with integrative tendencies!
Let me elaborate. As you all know of course, Egypt won the African Cup because Cote D'Ivoire passed over the match to repay Egypt's elimination of Cameroon in the World Cup qualification round, which took Cote D'Ivoire to Germany. It is also common knowledge that the Danish cartoons are part of a Zionist plot to humiliate Muslims and incite them to react violently and diminish their image (which, ironically enough, was exactly what happened!). The ferry of course drowned because of a plan by the ship owner to claim the insurance money for himself. And the bird flu is, as you know, caused by devious, 'foreign' birds.
We all know this!
But when a guy told me that: the government encouraged people to follow the African cup so that they ignore the Danish cartoon thing, and that the ferry sank because port officials were busy following the cup, which we won as a result of an agreement with the Ivorians again to dismiss attention from the ferry tragedy, only to be punished for our feeble response to the Danes by the bird flu epidemic, which the government delayed announcing because of, you guessed it, the damn cup, when he said that I didn't know whether to punch him in the face or to congratulate him on his ability to think about the 'big picture'!!

Moved on!

17 Comments:

That's AWESOME!

By Blogger The Sandmonkey, at February 23, 2006 12:27 PM  

in a weird, twisted kindda way!!
(I just figured...i like to say 'weird, twisted kindda way'! weird!!)

By Blogger Tomanbay, at February 23, 2006 12:40 PM  

hehe, u forgot that they created the danish outrage to divert attention from the sudanese refugees, whom they had to beat up and kick out as part of the agreement they had to make to get us to host the african cup.

By Blogger The Sandmonkey, at February 23, 2006 12:50 PM  

IT'S ALL CONNECTED!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 23, 2006 12:51 PM  

wow..i never thought that it ran that deep!

By Blogger Tomanbay, at February 23, 2006 1:04 PM  

That’s hilarious. Great post

By Blogger jelsted, at February 23, 2006 2:46 PM  

And I always thought the American conspiracy theorsts were mad...

By Blogger Blogspat, at February 23, 2006 3:03 PM  

we invented this shit!

By Blogger Tomanbay, at February 23, 2006 3:12 PM  

Genious.

By Blogger egyptiansally, at February 23, 2006 4:02 PM  

if u mean me....then i'm blushing already...ur cab conversation isn't bad either!

By Blogger Tomanbay, at February 23, 2006 4:15 PM  

hahaha! Classic

By Blogger Memz, at February 23, 2006 5:16 PM  

I've been looking for you people a long time now. I knew I couldn't have been the only sane one around. If you were family, it would make spending time with them so much easier.

By Blogger Kickers, at February 23, 2006 7:05 PM  

hey...make urself feel comfortable...its funny thats the way i felt also when i started this blogging thing...here have some cheetos....welcome to the family!!!
(of course I would never miss the chance to say something like 'welcome to the family'...I'm a godfather freak!!)

By Blogger Tomanbay, at February 23, 2006 7:13 PM  

Treatment for "Conspiracy" disease [excerpt]:

All of these assaults have a common foundation: conspiracy, the twisted doubt of American motives, which is founded by the powerlessness of the accuser in the face of the seemingly all-powerful United States. Believe it or not, your job is to make people - the people throwing mean words or even mean weapons at you - comfortable!

Public Diplomacy: The Transformational Approach

By Blogger Solomon2, at February 23, 2006 9:49 PM  

this is hilarious :D

By Blogger Ximo, at February 23, 2006 11:52 PM  

Speaking of the godfather, have you seen this?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4745920.stm

By Blogger Kickers, at February 24, 2006 4:59 PM  

to this lawyer guy, I have only one thing to say: "don't ever take sides with anyone against the family again. Ever"

By Blogger Tomanbay, at February 25, 2006 4:57 AM  

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