Tomanbay

Up and out!

2008-04-01T07:48:00.002+02:00

Hello...
Helloooooooooooooooooooooo...
I didn't expect anybody to be here anyways, but if you are, this is where you should check:
TheCairoCalls

Thank you, and bye!

Funny!

2006-11-08T14:00:00.000+02:00

I really respect Americans today.

For 6 years we had people trying to be more royal than the king, trying to justify every action the US does, only to be left out by Americans who realized today that things have been going in the wrong way for a long time.

Wow!

America: respect!

And…so long, suckers!!

Stupid!

2006-11-02T03:42:00.000+02:00

During a Seinfeld show, Jerry goes to a priest to complain that a member of the priest's church converted from Christianity to Judaism just to tell jokes about Jews. The priest asks "and does this offend you as a Jew?" to which Jerry answers "no! It offends me as a comedian!"

That's pretty much how I feel toward our government. The government actions offend me as a Machiavellian, not only as a citizen.
Take for example the recent Student Unions' fiasco. The security forces (working on auto pilot apparently) had taken students off the ballots of student unions' elections. Just like that. Violence erupted everywhere, and now they can't contain it (not without the usual excursions of Amn Markazy soldiers). The government is blaming the Muslim Brotherhood for the violence, and the Brotherhood (sounds like something straight out of medieval, huh?) is, as usual, playing the victim. It is repetitive. And it is tiring.
So, here is an idea for our cute government officials: Take your hand off the student unions. And while at it, give them some real power to question professors, and university officials about the quality of the education they are receiving.

Of course you may dismiss these suggestions as liberal, or even, God forbid, progressive. But no…we Machiavellians don’t think like that. Let’s face it: those hacks won’t be able to fix something which the NDP great minds weren’t able to even dent forward (education), so no fear there. They might actually get on the back of some loud university professors who (sometimes) demand such things as education reform, and freedom of academic expression, blah, blah, blah…What’s more important is that they will be dismissed as jokes by other students who won’t bother to go vote for them, (or anybody for that matter) come next elections. So you see, there will be zero political participation in the long run, or as NDP papas would call “a step forward”

Q.E.D.

A Chance for A Good Contractor To Be A National Hero

2006-11-02T03:32:00.000+02:00

It's Jimmy day!
Here's something I'm losing sleep on: Why haven't Jimmy and Diga tie the knot just yet?!
I know those marriage preparations take like forever. But come on, I'm sure this guy could pull some strings.
OR...
She is still trying to know him better. That makes sense. She must be sure who is it she is supposed to spend the rest of her life with. Fair enough.
I'd like to be a fly on one of their dates
Diga: So, are you planning to run for presidency Jimmy?
Jim: I have no intention of doing that. I repeat, No, I don't intend to run at all, all I want to do is to focus at doing a good job in my current position

That should be a good way to kick start an honest relationship!

Constitutional Amendments Anybody? No?

2006-11-02T03:05:00.000+02:00

Oh, I really miss little Jimmy.
You know what? With all the talk about changing article 76-again!- one begins to wonder which wall to bang his head to when it is time for him to swear to "uphold the Republican system"!
So, here is a little business opportunity: Be ready with 10000 poster sized, confidently-smiling-I'm-the-big-honcho portraits of the leader of our new "crossing". They could be in demand to fill the government offices and adorn our public spaces any of those days now.
Any of those ..... days!

At Least He is Consistent

2006-10-31T10:09:00.000+02:00

You can't make this stuff up, seriously!
Mubarak is urging Putin to stay for a third term. Screw the constitution, what do you know!

"Is your constitutional two-term limit an imitation of the Americans?" he was quoted by the newspaper as saying. "You criticize the Americans and you imitate what they do. Are you opening the doors or closing them? You must decide."

Well, ehh..I don't know. What do you think!

Another pearl of wisdom:

"He knows well the situation in Russia and the world," Mubarak said about Putin. "He understands everything. Let him stay."

The man is officially a farce now!
But...look at the bright side. Now we aren't only a country forced to accept a perpetual ruler...we're spreading the message!
Lead on!

So?

2006-10-30T17:10:00.000+02:00

2 months and 6 days after my last post, nothing had changed!
2 computers crashed, my header banner is gone, some bloggers are talking aimlessly to themselves, others are already writing their memoirs. But, I don't want to be a whiny bastards. The place is full of them already.
When I don't find something good to read, I write. I guess.
So here goes!

Kifaya: Aeh Ely Be7sal?!

2006-08-24T12:52:00.000+03:00

Anybody noticed this?
The website of Kifaya now has a "new foundational" manifesto!! The manifesto on its site is dated August 21st 2006! And is emphasizing opposing the US and Israel as its primary goal! Without debating the validity of this goal, what does that has to do with your primary reason, Kifaya?! Did Mubarak resign from office, and I didn't know? Did we have democratic elections? Was the press freed?!
Sophomoric is written all over you, Kifaya. And in case you don't understand this, it means childish. And if you don't, then let me put it this way: Kifaya le3b 3yal!

Kifaya: Kifaya!!!

2006-08-24T11:04:00.000+03:00

Let me first say that I couldn't agree more with Kifaya and its proponents on the founding principles of the movement: uniting all the different Egyptian forces in a bid to put an end to this regime and its monopoly of power. Fair enough.
But this movement had repeatedly shown that they, like the forces they oppose, are suffering from an extreme case of political bankruptcy. Rather than focusing its efforts on this one (gigantic) undertaking, they're being repeatedly sidetracked into other topics (boycotting ART for encoding world cup games for example!) which shows both a severe miscoordination and leadership absence on one hand, and a sophomoric craving to tickle people's emotions on the other.
Of course, the ready answer to those questions is always: it's all connected. Well...no, it's not, and even if it was, why divert people attention, cause more rifts between supporters, and cast a doubt on your political seriousness?. That's of course unless Kifaya thinks that all Egyptians have one opinion on everything. At which case, they will be no better than the current government...wala aeh?
The latest Kifaya fiasco is this. They're petitioning for the cancellation of the Camp David Peace Treaty. These people are just dying for public support, aren't they?
But even if we tried to look at their proposal in a rational way, I find no grounds whatsoever to support it. I know that it is a common past time for Egyptian "intellectuals" to speak how this treaty is unjust to Egypt, how it is destroying the country, and how it is all in Israel's favor (read the comments on Kifaya statements to get an idea). Strangely enough that's the same as what these people think. But...oh...they're saying that it's all in Egypt's favor and that Israel is the bigger loser...what do you know, those devious Jews! (side note: they are also saying that 1973 was a big blow to Israel...I hate to admit it, but some Israelis are more fair than our Arab "brothers").
The real problem I see is that people don't read. We seem to have a natural aversion to this basic skill. Nobody who is attacking it, had read the treaty.
The terms of the treaty are pretty straightforward about the withdrawal of the Israeli troops from Sinai. Yeah, it places some limitations on the numbers of Egyptian troops in Sinai, AND Israeli troops on the other side of the border. Plus, contrary to common belief (among supporters and opponents), the Egyptian armed forces is not denied access to the whole of Sinai, but rather the strip of land adjacent to the borders, and even this changed recently, by allowing border guards to control the borders after Israeli "withdrawal" from Gaza. And even if some of these limitations seem too much for some people, let me just tell you: there is nothing like a free launch. We screwed up in 1967, and that's the price we had to pay. Thank God we had brave people who were able to turn things around in 1973, and force Israel to sign this withdrawal treaty, because that's what is this really is. All the niceties in this treaty (political, economic, and cultural relations) are including in such a non-binding language, that it could be practically saying "it would be nice to have...". Well, it would be nice, but we're free to do whatever we want.
Of course some people respond by saying such things as "this treaty allows Israel to shoot our border guards every couple of days". What does the treaty has to do with this?!? The fact that we're turning into a mosquito country is the real reason. Let me here emphasize that the fact that I think the treaty is OK, doesn't mean that I think that we're handling ourselves well with Israel. In fact there is nothing in the treaty that says we shouldn't respond to such a violations like shooting at our border troops (and FYI: we do respond!). There is nothing which says that we shouldn't have any sort of sanctions against Israel if they're acting in a way which is harming our national interests, or is barbaric against another Arab country. The treaty has a clause against trade sanctions? so what? The GATT has that, and the US do it all the time.
What we lack is an empowered system that can stand up for the interests of its people, and its allies. Treaty, or no treaty.
And Kifaya: grow up!

Treaty text: Egyptian Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Treaty text: Israeli Ministry of Foreign Affairs

I &hearts The Arabist

2006-08-23T12:04:00.000+03:00

**Warning: Snap judgmet to follow**
I LOVE tha Arabist. Really. I think it is the most thought-out "Middle Eastern" blog around.
Check this great video they uploaded from the Daily Show (another favorite), this prophecy for the end of the world, and this hot new service they discoverd.
These people are good.

Seriously!

The Black Cabs Conspiracy

2006-08-23T10:18:00.000+03:00

Riding on the wave of my newly-found soft spot for conspiracy theories, I think I had uncovered a very intriguing mystery.
First, some background. I'm one of the unfortunate souls that have to drive o work and back for 3 hours everyday. I drive across Cairo (6th of October) and sometimes around (Ring road). Being a true Cairene, being stuck in traffic is a second nature, hell, it is even a skill; show me an abandoned city, and we will gladly have traffic there, and get stuck in it. It's what we do. My point is: it comes as no surprise for me that traffic is really bad at certain bottlenecks, and better (slightly better) at others.
What is suspicious though, is that once I passed one of those "bottlenecks", and tried to find the reason for the very slow traffic there, I couldn't find any. Only after I really paid attention that I found that the reason for these traffic jams is invariably an old black cab. The black cab's engine is always fuming, its drivers is always dark with whitening hair, his face is always dusty, he is always carrying a water container, and the water container is always red!
Does that sound like a coincidence?!
I think not.
Here is what I think:
I think that this is a part of a plot to decrease the productivity of Egyptians. Being the upbeat, work bees that we are, our angry, self loathing "enemies" had to resort to this lame tactic (hey, we uncovered it) in order to hold us back from being at our work places on time, where we could have produced the greatest technologies man had ever made, the weapons of tomorrow, and the equipment that will take us to the most distant galaxies in space. Instead, we produce biscuits, and ice cream.
Those @#$#@# bastards. We're on to you!! We're on to you!!! Bring it on!!!!!

Also on The Egyptian

We Have Roots

2006-08-20T18:16:00.000+03:00

I linked to the story of the Eloquent Peasant in the last post. It seems that it is very telling of Egyptian nature. To an uncanny degree.

Here the peasant is trying to implore some Chief to help him get back his stolen donkeys:

Chief steward, my lord, you are greatest of the great, you are guide of all that which is not and which is. When you embark on the sea of truth, that you may go sailing upon it, then shall not the.........strip away your sail, then your ship shall not remain fast, then shall no misfortune happen to your mast then shall your spars not be broken, then shall you not be stranded---if you run fast aground, the waves shall not break upon you, then you shall not taste the impurities of the river, then you shall not behold the face of fear, the shy fish shall come to you, and you shall capture the fat birds. For you are the father of the orphan, the husband of the widow, the brother of the desolate, the garment of the motherless. Let me place your name in this land higher than all good laws: you guide without avarice, you great one free from meanness, who destroys deceit, who creates truthfulness. Throw the evil to the ground. I will speak hear me. Do justice, O you praised one, whom the praised ones praise. Remove my oppression: behold, I have a heavy weight to carry; behold, I am troubled of soul; examine me, I am in sorrow.

Classic ass-kissing, huh?
Impressed by his eloquence, officials keep passing the man around (typical). On his eighth encounter with an official, the man snaps out, and gives this very impressive speech, which, in a typical Egyptian fashion, is said in desperation, rather than defiance or courage:

Chief steward, my lord, man falls on account of............ Greed is absent from a good merchant. His good commerce is......... Your heart is greedy, it does not become you. You despoil: this is not praiseworthy for you.........Your daily rations are in your house; your body is well filled. The officers, who are set as a protection against injustice,---a curse to the shameless are these officers, who are set as a bulwark against lies. Fear of you has not deterred me from supplicating you; if you think so, you have not known my heart. The Silent one, who turns to report to you his difficulties, is not afraid to present them to you. Your real estate is in the country, your bread is on your estate, your food is in the storehouse. Your officials give to you and you take it. Are you, then, not a robber? They plow for you......... for you to the plots of arable land. Do the truth for the sake of the Lord of Truth.You reed of a scribe, you roll of a book, you palette, you god Thoth, you ought to keep yourself far removed from injustice. You virtuous one, you should be virtuous, you virtuous one, you should be really virtuous. Further, truth is true to eternity. She goes with those who perform her to the region of the dead. He will be laid in the coffin and committed to the earth; ---his name will not perish from the earth, but men will remember him on account of his property: so runs the right interpretation of the divine word.
"Does it then happen that the scales stand aslant? Or is it thinkable that the scales incline to one side? Behold, if I come not, if another comes, then you host opportunity to speak as one who answers, as one who addresses the silent, as one who responds to him who has not spoken to you. You have not been.........; You have not been sick. You have not fled, you have not departed. But you have not yet granted me any reply to this beautiful word which comes from the mouth of the sun-god himself: >Speak the truth; do the truth: for it is great, it is mighty, it is everlasting. It will obtain for you merit, and will lead you to veneration.' For does the scale stand aslant? It is their scale-pans that bear the objects, and in just scales there is no.............. wanting

At that point, I think the Chief either felt guilty, or something in the peasant words touched him in a deep way, so he acted to get back the peasant's goods.
To which the peasant replied:

I live because I eat of your bread and drink your beer forever.

Heheehehe, typical!

This post is also posted at TheEgyptian. An attempt at collobrative blogging. Would appreciate your input!

"Lucky is the One Who Make Me Cry..."

2006-08-20T15:11:00.000+03:00

The title of this post is the first half of a well known Egyptian proverb; the other half is no better "... but not the one who make me laugh"! Pretty depressing, huh!
Despite their apparent cynic nature, or maybe because of it, Egyptians do need trauma in their lives. Our raison d'etre, as our French friends would put it, is coping with sadness, and loss.
Just notice the women who decide to wear black for the rest of her life, because her husband die. Or notice how all songs that are played in public transportation, and poor neighborhoods, are about how unjust times are, and how everybody, especially those the singer thought were his friends, turned their backs and betrayed him, etc...
In today's Ahram (a paper which I am trying to boycott, Anis Mansour (a writer I'm not a big fan of) writes a column(English m/t), about this same exact topic. He is relating our characteristics to the ancient story of the "Eloquent Peasant".
It is a very nice read, and surprisingly, very insightful!

Heavy Breath

2006-08-20T15:04:00.000+03:00

I almost feel guilty for not noticing this "statement" by a good friend of mine.
I'm too consumed by soulless, corporate, drones to feel his words, but they, undoubtedly, had sparked something in me.

I Hate Predictability

2006-08-20T11:50:00.000+03:00

When I read the title of this post (Ya Farha Matamet) , I thought "Finally, the guy will come down slamming on Israel's violation of the cease fire yesterday. But, I was wrong. In a typical new-con cadet style, the post attacks Iran, the Europeans, and suggest some sort of relation between the two. Can it get any more Reaganesque?
I don't think so.
Ah, and no mention of Israel, or the US whatsoever. Typical!

Accidental Wisdom

2006-08-16T17:15:00.000+03:00

I am stuck watching the 3 parts of The Godfather (yeah stuck...don't ask). Since I have seen it about 100 times before, I started focusing on very tiny details of the movie, the same way you really savor the last bite of a Kitkat or a Hershys bar. Also, I hope that one day I'll be on "Who wants to be a millionaire", and the million dollars question would be "What was the color of Vito Carleone's socks when he shot Fanucci, midway through the second part"...Only then, I'll have a shot at the million dollars.
Anyways, during Micheal Carleone's visit to Cuba he had this very interesting conversation with Hyman Roth

MICHAEL
I saw an interesting thing today. A man was being arrested by the Military Police; probably an urban guerrilla. Rather than be taken alive, he exploded a grenade hidden in his jacket, taking the command vehicle with him.

It occurred to me: the police are paid to fight, and the Rebels are not

ROTH
So?
MICHAEL
They can win

Why did that sound so familiar? Hmm, I wonder! Probably just the heat!

Oh my God! He is relating a quote about the Cuban revolution. A commie is in the house [hysterical shrieking sounds]

I Really Hope He Isn't Serious

2006-08-14T11:56:00.000+03:00

The very talkative, albeit very entertaining, Faisal has undertaken an endeavor which we all pray, will see him go somewhere but Lazghouly. That's highly unlikely, but we can only hope!

"3ayez temsek el balad yalla?!?!" "Fakr nafsak meen ya ro7 omak?!?!" ta'777777

Reading it, on the other hand, is highly recommended!

How To End Lebanese Suffering

2006-08-14T10:17:00.000+03:00

First of all, excuse my insensitivity.
I feel very strongly against what's happening in Lebanon. I also feel very strongly against helplessness . That's why the situation in Lebanon was especially dilemmatic for me. I simply couldn't just shake my head in sorrow, or chant empty slogans.
That feeling didn't go away until I discussed it with a friend. Now before I go on, let me tell you that this friend is one of the wisest people I ever knew. He is also very depression prone, and had he any real talents, he would have been a great artist, but because he doesn't have any, he is just plain suicidal.
Anyways...
The day I met that friend, he was, unnaturally, upbeat. After the usual chit chat, I asked him what he thought about the situation in Lebanon. He answered "nothing". Trying to know the reason for that indifference of a very opinionated character, I inquired about what he meant, so he answered me "See, you once told me something which is very true [me touting my own horn-Editor], there is no beginnings and no ends, everything is either an improvement or a deterioration, but things are all connected"
Me:"So?"
Friend: "Nothing, what's happening in Lebanon is the same as what's happening here in Egypt, people are beaten up by the police, I know, but it's not even about that, it is that every one of us bya'7od 3ala 2affah [is getting beaten on the back of his neck--approx =kicked in the ass] in work, in the street, and even in personal relations, so it's not very strange that a whole country bya'7od 3ala 2affah"
"So," the friend continued "I decided to aid Lebanon"
Me: [interested] "How?"
Friend: "You know how I hate my job, hate where I work, hate my boss, and hate how everybody is kissing ass all the time?"
I nod
Friend: "And you know how reluctant I was to actually search for other jobs because I thought this one was convenient enough?"
I nod again
Friend: "Well," he pauses for effect "I quit my job!"
Then he leaned forward, looked me in the eyes, and said in a tone, hadn't he been such a chubby fellow, would be fit of William Wallace "I decided that mesh ha'7od 3ala 2afaya [I won't be beaten on the back of my neck] ever again!!"

The Post of A Conspiracy Theory Convert

2006-08-10T14:15:00.001+03:00

Damn it. I hate conspiracy theories, I hate conspiracy theorists, and I hate conspiracies in general.
But...
I'm smelling a rat with the Heathrow airport 'incident'.
Here is what I think: Blair is really feeling the heat of public opposition to his pro-US policy. So he gives a call to the big W in Washington, who gives him the dirt "Get your CIA people to play with the colors...if you know what I mean" and he winks, to which Blair replies "first, I think they're called Mi5 over here, and secondly stop winking, George Michael was that close to outing us!"; Bush, rolling his eyes "Anywho...just give the people some action, turn this alert thing to red, and people would be rallying around you like you're Kylie Minogue"; Blair, nervous, "I said stop hitting on me already"....
The conversation went on, until Laura stormed into the room...but that's not the point.
The point is, for the first time in my life, I'm willing to bet my pants on a conspiracy theory!

Trivial

2006-08-08T11:15:00.000+03:00

That's probably the most trivial post I've ever put on this blog, but...who cares!

Sometimes it helps when thing are put into perspective (From the ZoomClouds tags to your right!)

Egyptian Role -- Wait,...What Egyptian Role?!?!?!

2006-08-07T15:12:00.000+03:00

People are furious.
And are secretly excited!

That's the lowdown on people's emotions here in Egypt.
They're furious for obvious reasons (the systematic killing of an entire population, and destruction of a country's infrastructure should, if not inconvenient to you in any ways, be a bit disturbing), but they're also excited because Hassan Nasrallah, and Hezbollah are giving them what nobody did for years -- Leadership.
Most people don't know every little detail about the situation in Lebanon, and 99% were convinced, I guarantee you this, that Lebanon's struggle against Israel ended in 2000. But, that doesn't make them any less excited about the emerging hero. About David poking Goliath eye. For the first time in 30 years, Arabs, and more specifically Egyptians, are able to gather around TVs in cafes waiting for the latest resistance statement. The fact that this is pissing the filthy old men in power, makes the guilty pleasure all sweeter.
For that specific reason I am surprised with people who are demanding an Egyptian role in this crisis. Don't get me wrong; Egypt should, ideally, have a great sway on how such a war plays out in its backyard. If not for humanity, it is crucial for Egyptian national security that Egypt steps up to try and put an end to this barbaric war.
But..
That's how things should be. That's not how they really are.
Egypt had become, thanks to 25 years of short-sighted foreign policy, irrelevant. Yes, irrelevant!
We can talk, reject, accept, put our pants on fire and run around shouting "the British are coming", and still nobody will notice. It is the simple harsh truth.
The beauty of that, for rulers of course, is that they can take any position with the luxury of not caring about the consequences. They can use those situations and crises, abound in the middle east, to score cheap popularity points. That's why, it continues to amaze me that Hosny Mubarak didn't seize this opportunity to appear as an Arab hero, by criticizing the Israeli attack, cutting diplomatic connections, ejecting the Israeli ambassador, or any other means. What drives me crazy however, are people, supposedly opposing him, who are practically begging him to do one of these inconsequential actions and be a hero (even a false one will do at his popularity level), and yet he refuses!!!!!
Reminds me of the blind man who had a blind bird. Because he was blind he put her out of the cage, but because the bird itself was blind, it flew into the cage!
Think about that!

Twisted!

2006-08-07T10:11:00.000+03:00

As some of you may have noticed (I hope!), I haven't been writing for a while. The reason was an avalanche of personal as well as professional commitments. And since this avalanche hasn't subside yet (it got worse actually), I decided to resume writing anyhow (that's not the "Twisted" part in the title, although it would make a very good candidate)

Now let me tell you this: I haven't been writing about Lebanon, not because of disinterest, but rather because of a mixed case of confusion, and helplessness. A combination which I find both foreign, and repulsive.
Anywho...
What spurred me to write was a discussion with a friend who argued that, you know what, Israel is better than Hezbollah because while Hezbollah tries to kill civilians by firing rockets at their cities but misses because of its poor equipment, Israelies, on the other hand, have the capability to kill millions (by "carpet bombing"--he seemed to be so fond of the phrase!) but they don't, and kill only thousands, so they're, you know, cool!
!!
I wouldn't comment (on this or the situation in general) now. I want you to just behold the logic.

The Goddamn LOGIC!

Where were you the day Zidane Butt-Headed Materazzi?

2006-07-12T11:12:00.000+03:00

It was once said that every American who was alive the day Kennedy was shot remembers where he was when he received the news.
Well, for the 1 billion non-Americans who followed the worldcup final (well, I know somebody in Cleveland, and another in San Francisco who might have watched the game!), we now have a memory to rival J.F.K's assassination: we witnessed the day Zidane went Dodge-ing on Materazzi!!
It doesn't get more dramatic than this. Hell, after seeing the picture of Zidane walking past the world cup, I thought that this is turning into some sort of a Greek tragedy.
I hear that Zidane intends to announce the reason for his moment of insanity in a press conference today. I think Adidas should stop him from doing that. They could spin this whole thing into a comic, or a movie.
People love good mystery!

So, Where Is The Catch?!

2006-06-09T05:08:00.000+03:00

Well, it is kindda obvious that this man is out of his mind.
You know, the Israeli general guy who wants (English m/t) Egypt to donate 600 km sq of land to Palestinians to help them have their own state (and have Israel take, guess what, 600 km sq from Gaza to secure its borders!!) In effect he is trying to actually move the Gaza strip 600 km away (Now if we can get Gaddafi to agree to give us 600 km of Libya, we can complete this left-shift move and have Israel get into the record as the first country ever to occupy land remotely).
Anyhow, I won't insult the intelligence of anybody here by trying to actually discuss whether anybody will agree to this plan, but I have one question: where is the catch?
This guy is the outgoing national security advisor of Israel, so you know, not your average lunatic. I'm just wondering, what ace is he pulling out of his sleeve?!

Inventory Check

2006-06-09T03:27:00.000+03:00

I am a bit frustrated with the whole situation in Egypt nowadays, well more than a bit, but you get the idea.
But despair was never a solution. So here we go again...
Ah...this and the fact that some blogs are getting so damn annoying, and tedious had motivated me to start writing here again. So, yeah, I'm here to get this party started.
Nah, I'm kidding. But seriously, is it just me or is continuing to list ways in which Muslims are ignorant scumbags, going ballistic about the fall of secularism in Somalia (yeah, because you know, Somalia was the beacon of secularism all along!), or bitching about the rise of communism in Bolivia...a bit, you know, as irritating as reading about the unprecedented performance of the Egyptian economy (we're the only country whose leading newspaper can have a headline like "An impressive recovery for the Egyptian Stock Exchange" next to a chart for the market index going down faster than a meteor!)
Plus, during my short time off I was able to watch such goodies as this ~~video~~ (dead link, sorry) by current parliamentarians, and ex-policemen. Tells you a lot about the fascist state we had become. And also reminds me of a couple of "prominent" bloggers whom I suspect are getting into some sort of a "serious" relation. Just watch the parallels between their recent blog entries. But, I'm not gonna say who. I'm not outing anybody here!
Anyways, the reason I'm writing to you is not to bash anybody, nah, that's not what I'm about. Instead I'm asking you to help me in a little thing I'm trying to do.
You see, when facing any situation or a problem, you have to have a clear idea of what are the elements that pertain to that situation, right? So, I'm doing a bit of an inventory check (which might turn out to be a sort of reality check as well) of who are really the players in the whole 'situation' we're having in Egypt...Here is the run down:

Mubarak: for all what matters the man could be clubbing in St Tropez right now. Really, where are you ya raees, we're missing the gridlocks!
Mubarak: (Jr, duh!) the lovestruck sweet heart IS clubbing in St Tropez right now. Of course enroute between Cairo, and Washington. This man has to be cut some slack...most people find it hard as it is to propose to one prospective father-on law; this guy has to appease Diga's dad in Cairo, and Big Daddy in Washington. The tragedy!
MB (Muslim Bros..yeah...I know...so ghetto!) Well, roll calls at their meeting should be a real challenge. If they continue being arrested at this rate, they'd be extinct before Haifaa takes off another piece of clothes (very narrow timeframe, believe me). Their positions: well, we're against the government, but won't field enough candidates to overthrow it; we're against succession, but we don't plan to run against Gamal; and we support the judges, but our car broke on our way to Ramses to support them!
The judges: where are the judges?! (no, seriously please tell me, I'm getting worried)
Kifaya: Still struggling. Do you really think that going to international courts against abusing officers is a good idea to repair the foreign-funded-traitors image some ordinary people have? (I'm just thinking out loud, seriously!)
Nazif: everytime you try to brush off the "nerd" image, you come off as the "angry little man/mouthpiece". "Nerd" is better if you ask me. Embrace who you really are Nizi!

Here you are..who am I missing? Help me out please!

(Anything north of 2 comments is considered a riot in this blog apparently!)

And A Girl Shall Lead Them...

2006-06-01T16:26:00.000+03:00

This is so for Arabic speakers!
Read Noora Younis' account of a year of struggle. It is just brilliant, passionate, and more refreshing, and uplifting than anything I have read in a while.
After finishing the piece, I only had the line from Mohamed Nooh's 'Maddad Maddad' echoing in my head...

وان كان في ارضك مات شهيد في الف غيره بيتولد
مدد مدد

There have never been prisons large enough to lock an entire nation. Sorry Big Mu!

إذا الشعب يوما أراد الحياة فلابد أن يستجيب القدر و لابد لليل أن ينجلي و لابد للقيد أن ينكسر

أبي القاسم الشابي

Now, This is Up There!!

2006-06-01T16:15:00.000+03:00

Now, officially, the world had spun out of control.
A media watchdog in the UK banned an ad for World Vision because it, get this, "offends football" (I guess now "offending the president" seems much more credible) by comparing the money spent on the English team in the world cup (GBP49m), with the money an average child in Africa gets (60p)!
Using this rationale, I think Zamalek should be banned for paying Euro 1.7m for Locomotive's Amr Zaki. It is offending to anybody who understand anything about football!

Welcome Welcome!

2006-05-30T19:23:00.000+03:00

Such a lame greeting!
But anyways, this guy is awesome. He has his own comic-blog now. It has just one cartoon so far, but if that guy kept his heart in it, he'll go places!
Welcome Tarek!

If you don't get the sodomy refrence, go here!

Did They Fail?!

2006-05-29T01:28:00.000+03:00

I'm watching El Lyla El-Kbera operetta with my quasi-religious aunt, when she sighs "they failed! They couldn't do something similar". She was clearly nostalgic, but it made me think.
Did people really gave up on cinema, theatre, literature etc... for extreme-religion or did the movie-makers, actors, writers, and artists sell out on them?!
Just wondering!

My Stock Tip

2006-05-28T12:57:00.000+03:00

Markets are fascinating things. Barring any fraud or anti-competitive factors, they provide an almost instant indicator of the overall mood, and sentiment in the whole society.
Current Egyptian stock market recommendation: Strong Sell!
You got the point!
The stock market is very sensitive to lots of factors. That's why I've been pondering the relation between the recent dive of the stock market and the current political situation in Egypt. I figured it all make sense.
According to this BusinessWeek article, the numerical indicators of the economy are good (6% annual growth; $3.2 billion in DFIs), but the CASE-30 (major stock index) continues to underperform. It lost around 25% in 3 months!
In my opinion this has mainly to do with the very volatile political situation. Now, I'm not saying that this turmoil is a result of pro-democracy movements (regardless how admirable they're) but it has mainly to do with the fact that sooner or later (and most probably sooner) Egypt will inevitably has to deal with a major power vacuum (actually the only power vacuum that counts in this country). Mubarak is aging, and is expected to soon either be a former (and be the first), or a later president (some are even wondering whether he is the current!), and although speculations about Gamal Mubarak succeeding him are very strong, it is very hard to imagine how will this be achieved if Mubarak Sr. died before handing the presidency to his son. Many parties can potentially have eyes for the big job (Army, NDP old guard, etc..), and Gamal, although moving tactfully to form a strong base for himself (ministers, editors-in-chef, NDP youth) will pale when compared with the political clout those other parties can muster.
Also the conflict with the judiciary can prove very harmful to investor confidence. For investors (foreign ones especially) news that "judges are not independent in Egypt", automatically means that "investments are not safe in Egypt". Because how attractive investment laws are here, the absence (or even the perceived absence) of strong, independent judges to enforce it, mean that these laws are worthless.
The article summarizes:

While economic reforms are proceeding fairly smoothly, the political convoy seems to have hit a roadblock -- a point underlined by recent police beatings in central Cairo of demonstrators demanding independence for the judiciary. Mubarak, who will mark a quarter century in power in October, will eventually die or become too old to rule. But just who will succeed him is far from clear. "It's the million dollar question, " says Orascom Telecom's Sawiris.

Back to the stock exchange. I guess it will take something in the vicinity of 2-3 years for the stock change to rebound. This is the time frame during which, I think, a transfer of power will happen.
Till then, hold on to your hats as we continue falling...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Droubi Is Free!

2006-05-26T15:24:00.000+03:00

Today is the 26th of May, and Droubi is, according to an SMS from a friend, FREE!
Mabrok 4 the Droubster!

Doesn't that sound familiar?!

It's the 25th Of May!

2006-05-25T17:09:00.000+03:00

Well, not yet, but the build up for the day is amazing.
I'm totally overwhelmed by the number of events organized all over the worl (yeah the world!!) in support of Egyptian judges.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so I really don't feel the need to elaborate on the map below.
Click on each city for info about demonstrations staged there.
Keep checking for updates, information, statements, pictures, and news from the sites of the demonstrations.

Update 1 7:00 PM (24/5): Paris demo is over. 30 people showed up. Click Paris marker for the photos.
Update 2 2:00 PM (25/5): It seems like the day is heading towards a very unclaimactic end. No news of any demos here in Cairo!!!! Just a stand-in in AUC so far!!!! Ramses St (which was occupied by security forces during past demos) is so clear I'm thinking of doing laps throught it (just because I can). That is so weird! Major setback for opposition if you ask me. But let's wait and see!
Update 3 5:00 PM (25/5): First news of demonstrations in the Higher Court, Journalists syndicate, and AUC.
Update 4 5:00 PM (25/5): Demo infront of Dareeh Saad at 7 PM

Note: San Francisco, and Seoul have demonstrations also. Scroll the map to see them!

Many thanks to Ahmed Zahran from elkhan-elmasry.blogspot.com
To add items to this map, please comment on this post.
To link to this map on your blog, copy the following code into a post or template:

<a href="http://www.mapbuilder.net/users/tomanbay/18738" target="MyMap"><img src="http://www.mapbuilder.net/img/MyMap.gif"
alt="MyMaps at MapBuilder.net" width="80" height="15" border="0"></a>

To include the map into your blog copy this code to a post:

<iframe src="http://www.mapbuilder.net/UserMapFrame.php?
UserName=tomanbay &amp;Map=25th_of_May_Protests" name="mainFrame" frameborder="0" height="500" scrolling="no" width="450"></iframe>

Act As If

2006-05-23T12:33:00.000+03:00

Whenever I am following the political maneuvers of the different parties (mainly MB and government) here in Egypt,I always remember an instruction the character played by Ben Afflick in the movie 'Boiler Room', gave to the junior traders in a brokerage firm: "Act as if..."
The government is always acting as if it is a really elected government in hope that people will believe it is. (Also reminds me of an old, hideous lady who decided all of a sudden to act as if she was a pretty young girl, and start talking about "new vision"). They are acting as if the demonstrations are such a trivial matter that isn't at all worrying them, in the hope that we will believe this, and in turn be dissuaded from participating. They're acting as if they mean what they say about how what the judges are doing (striking and voicing their dissent) is really shameful to the "respect of the judge and justice", hoping that the judge will feel ashamed by this (but not that one of their own was beaten in front of the Judges Club).
The MB is even more skilled at this game. They're acting as if they're the strongest political force in the country, hoping that everybody will believe this and be intimidated into joining them or at least avoiding them (but why did they run for 120 seats of the 444 of the parliament...hmm..I wonder). They act as if they're the strongest force between students in student unions (read Rosa Al-Youssef article about how they're penetrating the AUC student union--I know a couple of things about that, and believe me they're a considerable force, but far from being able to sway an elections there), hoping that we believe that they have the universities in their pocket. They act as if they control all professional syndicates, but they always fail to win the presidency of any of those syndicates.
In all those instances, the MB is trying to intimidate elected representatives and officials into caving in to their demands and agendas without being in the center of any controversy. Or even worse, without suffering any losses (like that which they would have suffered had they ran for the 444 seats of the parliament) which will be just defying to their whole strategy.
Pretty smart.
Why is the government doing the "Act as if" ?...They just think we're clueless.

The Way We Are

2006-05-19T19:58:00.000+03:00

This is a copy an email I wrote to Kevin from LeanLeft in response to a question he posed about the judiciary struggle in Egypt. This was written almost a week ago, so it doesn't include the ruling of the disciplinary committee on Thursday (which decided to blame one of the judges -Bastawisi-, while acquitted the other)

"I come from a small country".
Here is a declaration that could get me in all sorts of trouble with the Egyptian fascinista.
Watching the evening news on Egyptian TV, or reading the state owned newspapers, you get the feeling that Egypt is as developed a country as they come. They're always talking about how great the achievements of this country, how defiant we are to the forces of reality, how unyielding we are to all sorts of challenges, and how our great history sets the tone for our even greater future. All of course is done under the wise leadership, and shrewed management of Egypt's greatest Pharoh...err...I mean president Husni Mubarak.
(Americans: stop me when it gets too familiar)
Without going into much details let me give you a quick round up of Egyptian politics during the last century (yeah!). The British were occupying Egypt. Nationalistic Liberal opposition was gaining traction in the Egyptian street at the dawn of the century. It managed to revolt against the British in 1919, and subsequently forced them to declare Egypt as a sovereign state in 1922. Egypt had a democratically elected Parliament, and parties which took turns forming governments. The king was a bit corrupt, and the English (although declared Egypt independent) didn't leave, so a group of officers staged a coup d'etat (another death sentence if you uttered that on state TV--blessed revolution is more like it). Military men ruled. Nasser and Sadat oppressed the people because "no sound should be louder than that's of the battle with Israel". While Mubarak, coming after the peace treaty with Israel, oppressed people under the context of fear of Islamic terrorists. Needless to say, those terrorists gained grounds in the Egyptian street because of the years of oppression and minimal development. Through it all of course, all powers of liberal opposition were utterly, and completely crushed. (I realize this is a gross over simplification of around 80 years of history....whatever!)
So we're now in this situation, where Mubarak has been ruling for over 25 years and he is gleefully grooming his son to succeed him. Happy ending? Nah
Thousands of miles away, a certain president Bush undertook the holy mission of dropping 'the shimmering lights of freedom' on the middle east. He places a call to Mubarak down in Egypt, telling him to essentially 'give the people a break'. Unprecedented demonstrations erupt everywhere in Egypt. Nobody can believe whats happening. What was a bit more than a wet dream under the emergency law (a law that effectively overrides the constitution for the sake of the president) had become a reality. The police was actually protecting the demonstrators not beating the living hell out of them (you have to live 50 years under police rule to understand who big this is) We thought we're suffering a mass illusion. But apparently it was true. Mubarak announced that we'll have a multi-candidate presidential elections!! HURRAY! (tailored to fit the ruling party candidate, but every step count doesn't it?) On top of that, judges, instead of police, will supervise DOUBLE HURRAY!! They will even supervise the following parliamentary elections HURRAY HURRAY HURRAY!!
Right? Nah...
Some judges smelled a rat. Well, smell is an understatement. They actually saw one...a huge one indeed. Polls were rigged by police, voters were prevented access to polling stations, and some candidates were even arrested on the night of the elections. A list surfaced with the names of the judges who were in cahoots with the government to fix the results in favor of the NDP (ruling party). The NDP won around 80%, while the Muslim brotherhood (the islamist 'banned' party that is gaining the most support in the street, I'll have to admit) won around 20%. Anyways, when the list went out, a couple of judges ( Mahmud Mekki and Hisham Bastawisi) asked that those judges be investigated to either clear the side of the judges, or punish those responsible to maintain the credibility of a whole branch of the government. So, what do you expect to happen? The minister of justice (appointed by the president) orders the two judges (who demanded the investigation!!) to face a disciplinary committee (and eventually be ejected!)
The judges (all of them) decided that that was too much, and decided to strike back. They decided to strike in the 'Judges Club' (their semi-formal professional association), and to press for more Judicial freedom from the executive (how can a minister (executive) be able to eject a judge?!). Their voice was heard in the street.
Demonstrators from all different political inclinations, took the judges' club as a symbol of resistance to the oppressive regime, and as a scene for lots of anti-Mubarak demonstrations. This time the police was true to form. Excessive violence was used against peaceful demonstrators, hundreds were arrested, and the judges were denied access to the court house where the disciplinary committee sessions took place.
Some people attribute this backlash to the fact that the US is reliving the regime from pressure, now that they know that the Muslim Brotherhood will rule if a democratic elections took place in Egypt. Some people think that the reason is that Gamal is getting ready to fill the big shoes. Others just think the government went crazy!
Well, where does that leave us now?
On the micro level, the showdown continues; the Judges' Club is still under the siege of very aggressive security forces, and all is set for a magnificent showdown on may 25th (anniversary of the constitution amendment that allowed multi-candidate elections, and which the opposition thinks that it places too much restrictions on the right for anybody to run for the elections) between the judges and protesters on one side and the government police, and plain clothed thugs on the other.
On the greater scale however, this is a very decisive battle for the whole region. It is a battle for the clear definition of authorities between the different branches in government. Egypt is a very diverse, populous country which has huge influence on the culture of the region. A democratic opening in Egypt, would surely inspire a lot of people in places like Syria, and Saudi Arabia to actually stand up and demand more rights. It's a battle between people who want the constitution to be upheld, and others who actually cheer for an emergency law that gives excessive powers to a single person (the president).
What do we need from non-Egyptians out there? I think we can't ask for more than the assurance that there are other people in the world who support our struggle. Who think that we deserve more than just being a factor in an intricate balance of power in this region. We need to know that their are people out there who support our movement, because it makes sense, and not only political convenience.
I have written about NSA wiretapping, and Bush's imperial powers, not because of some sort of fascination or attachment to America, but rather because I believe that as free people Americans deserve much better than their current leadership. I (and every level-headed person in this country) need to know that their are other people out there who think that we deserve just the same.

Bonus Link

Words of Terror

2006-05-17T12:14:00.000+03:00

I was recently talking with a friend about American conservatives, and their attitudes towards issues in the middle east. He thinks that 1) it is a good thing they care about what's happening over here; 2) they genuinely believe in the importance of the welfare of people over here.
My reactions are 1) it is wrong to try to generalize any traits over such a large group of individuals; 2) even if he can, and what he is claiming is true, I am having a hard time believing that mere well intentions are the reason for this on again, off again concern.
I wanted to supply him with examples to support what I wanted to say, until I came across this article and thought 'search no more'.
I also thought 'what the bloody hell?!!!":

To sit and listen to people who have spent the last three years piously lecturing us on the need to stand with "the Iraqi people," who justified our invasion of that country on the ground that we want to give them a better system of government because we must make Muslims like us more, now insist that what we need to do is bomb them with greater force and less precision is really rather vile -- but highly instructive. The masks are coming off. No more poetic tributes to democracy or all that sentimental whining about "hearts and minds." It's time to shed our unwarranted white guilt, really stretch our legs and let our hair down, and just keep bombing and bombing until we kill enough of them and win. Shelby Steele [WSJ writer] deserves some sort of award for triggering that refreshingly honest outburst.

MUST READ!

Shy Love

2006-05-17T11:16:00.000+03:00

I read that at Sandmonkey's, and was a bit surprised:

There have been rumors in Egypt of a meeting between the NDP and the MB, where the NDP offered the MB about 30% of the parliament in the next election, thus giving them significant opposition powers, in exchange of the MB supporting Gamal Mubarak when he runs for President of Egypt and not make a big stink over it. The MB now are denying that such a meeting took place, but NDP leaders insist that it did. Someone's lying, and given the reputation of both organizations, it could easily be either one.

The reason I was surprised wasn't that I didn't think that this is possible, but rather because I was under the impression that the MB is the one insisting that those meetings happened (Arabic - English m/t here), while NDP's Safwat El-Sherief clearly denied it.
Isn't that sweet? They're both now out of the closet on this. Be Proud!

Satan Made Me Do It

2006-05-15T16:47:00.000+03:00

For all self-loathing wackos who vehemently believe that we (Arabs, Muslims, Egyptians; pick up your slur) are the most retarded people in this world, because of "our" religious tendencies, read this.

The nationwide telephone survey of 1,013 U.S. adults, conducted May 5-7, found that 19% see Satan trying to destroy people's religious faith when sales soar for books, movies and studies that raise doubts about Jesus or the Bible. People who attend church weekly were more likely to believe that

Seems right in time for the debut of Omen, on 6-6-06 ...awww. Reminds me of this old lady on a London bus who swore that Bush was the anti-Christ. "He has 666 on the back of his head" she said as she drew this scared face! Uh..some days!
Of course, I can see people with their hands on their ears screaming "but we don't kill innocent people now do we?". Well, you don't (not in a similar fashion anyhow). But just wait untill somebody form this (growing) 19% decides to 'fight' Satan. Now, they have to be proactive, don't they?!

Scott Adams: Iran's Pointy Haired Mullahs

2006-05-14T11:07:00.000+03:00

For a 'cartoonist', this man is exceptionally brilliant, and, ...I'm not saying that, ...well..., insightful!
Moving from office politics, Scott takes on Iran's nuclear crisis. He succinctly predicts what a lot of people (not the ideological, xenophobic, paranoid lot anyhow) had predicted for a while: Iran found the US n-spot!

My next prediction is that the United States and Iran will become friendly in the next five years, similar to the way the Cold War ended. I donÂt think weÂll see Iran in NATO, but IÂm expecting embassies and trade and maybe some help rounding up terrorists. And I think those Iranian almost-nukes will make this all happen. Iran will move from a mischief-making renegade country to a respected world power and theyÂll see the benefit of acting responsibly

This coupled with the fact that the US needs Iran to stabilize Iraq, means that Iranians would be soon enjoying 5$ latte's in Islamboly's Starbucks, Tehran.

Freedom On The March

2006-05-12T01:41:00.000+03:00

According to this report, the government is apparently snooping into the phone records of millions of citizens. Apparently the government has a detailed records of every call everybody makes to family, friends, and co-workers. The report show that.....
Wait a second, you thought I'm talking about Egypt?...Well, apparently freedom starts at home. This is the US we're talking about here...(whoever said we can't teach those Yankees something or two about deeeeeemoc-racy!)
Just stop wondering what the US is doing about our freedom. Americans have issues of their own!

Whoever said that our sufferings are not the same after all? *sigh*

Pssst..Bush..yeah you...maybe you can think about that....you'll thank me!

Speak Up

2006-05-11T21:15:00.000+03:00

The two judges at the center of this growing conflict, Mahmud Mekki and Hisham Bastawisi , have spoken up.
In an article sent to the Guardian, they outlined their struggle, and, in my opinion, kicked off a real campaign (the most serious one actually) aimed at uprooting a regime that had gone further than any other in suppressing...well, about anybody!
They think, however, that this regime has accomplices:

In Egypt we don't have any confidence in US policy because it is a contradictory policy that pays lip service to democracy while supporting dictatorships. We have confidence in the Egyptian people. We welcome support from any quarter, but we won't rely on it. We will depend on ourselves in our campaign for reform and change.

Americans: Here is the cause of freedom, liberty, and democracy on the march. Get rid of this man already!
Anyways, go read. [hat tip: the Arabist]

Meanwhile, in downtown Cairo, the police escalated its aggression towards the Egyptian people. What was supposed to be a day of peacful support of the aforementioned judges during their court session had turned into, no exaggeration whatsoever, a full fledged urban battle.
See the pics here, and here. No comment here.

The events are too much to comprehend, and they're evolving at a hectic pace. I don't have any insightful comments to share (if I ever did), but I wanted to share this with you.

Throughout the day the words of this song of Mohammed Mounir had been echoing in my ears:

ليه تسكتي زمن
اتكلمي
ليه تدفعي وحدك الثمن
اتكلمي
و تنامي ليه تحت الليالي
اتكلمي
المشربيات عيونك
تحكي علي خانوك
اللي سنين هملوك
جوه البيبان سلسلوكي
اتكلمي

Why shut up for ages?
Speak Up
Why pay the price all by you own?
Speak Up
Why sleep under the heavy nights?
Speak Up

Old Windows are your eyes
Telling stories about those who betrayed you
Those who for years humilated you
Who, inside closed doors, chained you up
Speak UP!

Have No Idea What That Means! (Extra: Paranoia Ensues!)

2006-05-10T16:18:00.000+03:00

Search for "Mubarak" in google...the 16th result (and the first results for blogs) is a link to yours truly. (The second result for "go Mubarak" is...gulp...mine!)
Part of me is glad (don't know why)...but another part (a bit larger one in fact) is not that excited...(you know with the whole dissin' the president stuff-it's now a crime-you can never be sure what would they consider to be disrespect for the big man!)
I better work on preparing my 'mentally disturbed' papers!

update:
**PARANOIA ENSUES**:
a)Sandmonkey, and Big Pharoh are starting to get the jitters!
b)Manalaa.net (arrested blogger Alaa's homepage) is down! (or is it just me?!)

It Feels Good To Be Right

2006-05-10T14:37:00.000+03:00

Never like to do 'the I told you so' thing, but the resemblance is uncanny:
On the 24th of February (10 weeks) ago , I wrote about the economic effect of the chicken scare that ensued because of the outbreak of bird flu. Today, Reuters ran a report that pretty much says the same: chicken prices increased 5 folds, and it will take at least a year and half for the production to return to its normal levels.

Boring Albeit Necessary Law Lesson

2006-05-09T01:16:00.000+03:00

Ok, this is so anticlimactic, I feel like an old man preaching to a rioting mob, but the importance of rule of law had risen to be the essence of the populace struggle against this totalitarian rule.
Have no doubt about it: Alaa, and Droubi were both detained because of disregard to a law they went out trying to defend it, and to support people who still had respect to it (the judges).
But an important question must be answered: What does the law actually says? What does it say about the rights of people to assemble and voice their opinion?
I was thinking about that, because one commentator (I guess American) was dubious about whether the Egyptian law actually ensured the right of those detained protestors to freedom of speech and assembly, and how it is all too 'western' to be relevant to Egypt.
Here is what the Egyptian constitution says in Chapter 3: Public Freedoms, Rights, and Duties:

Art.41: Individual freedom is a natural right not subject to violation except in cases of flagrante delicto. No person may be arrested, inspected, detained or have his freedom restricted in any way or be prevented from free movement except by an order necessitated by investigations and the preservation of public security. This order shall be given by the competent judge or the Public Prosecution in accordance with the provisions of the law.
Art.42: Any citizen arrested, detained or whose freedom is restricted shall be treated in a manner concomitant with the preservation of his dignity. No physical or moral harm is to be inflicted upon him. He may not be detained or imprisoned except in places defined by laws organizing prisons. If a confession is proved to have been made by a person under any of the aforementioned forms of duress or coercion, it shall be considered invalid and futile.
Art.47: Freedom of opinion shall be guaranteed. Every individual shall have the right to express his opinion and to publicise it verbally, in writing, by photography or by other means of expression within the limits of the law. Self criticism and constructive criticism shall guarantee the safety of the national structure.
Art.54: Citizens shall have the right to peaceful and unarmed private assembly, without the need for prior notice. Such private meetings should not be attended by security men. Public meetings, processions and gatherings shall be allowed within the limits of the law.

Now, we all know that the emergency law annulled nearly every single word you just read.
I was actually trying to find the text of the law, and the closest I got was that Arabic text (English m/t but isn't entirely decipherable). To tell you the truth, I was horrified! Not that I ever imagined that any text can be so bleak, but to think that there were actual representatives cheering for that law in the People's Assembly chamber last week goes to show how absolutely corrupt and rotten this whole thing had become.
Just read this:

The President is entitled to establishing restrictions on the freedom of persons to meet, move, reside, and or pass through certain places in certain times and the arrest of suspects dangerous to the security and public order, arrest and licensing in the search of persons and premises without compliance with the provisions of the Code of Criminal Procedure, as well as assigning anyone to perform any kind of work.

Kings don't have it that easy for God's sake!

On another, albeit related note, I knew a guy who was arrested during the Anti-American demonstrations that erupted after Iraq invasion in 2003. The guy was arrested for the 'standard' 15 days. But during those 15 days we couldn't know anything about his whereabouts, his status, or how he was treated. After he was released, he told us that there weren't any torturing, just the usual police harshness. It seems rather peculiar that this time we're able to know how badly the detainees are treated, how severe the torturing is, and how horrible their conditions are. I wouldn't be surprised if a video even 'leaked' out of one of those prisons.
Why?
Because that is exactly what the regime is trying to do. Now that the protests are getting traction (especially with the judges support), the regime is desperately trying to scare people from joining in. It's a scare tactic and it will only succeed if people were actually scared!
I hope this gives you ideas!

Arrested Protestors

2006-05-08T15:08:00.000+03:00

This is just in: Arrest period was extended for the protestors detained on April 24th, for 15 more days. Mind you, this is an ad-hoc arrest, no ~~subpoena~~ warrant, or court orders issued. This brings the period they're spending in prison, without facing charges, to 30 days.
The word is that the treatment they're receiving is very poor. One detainee, who is diabetic, is facing great difficulty in obtaining insulin, and when he does, it is always in a belated manner.
This seems to confirm suspicions that the government will continue this illegal arrest until the infamous May 25th passes (the first anniversary of the constitutional amendment referendum, and the police brutality against protestors).

Link: Free Droubi, Blogger Alaa Status

'Unified Call' To What?

2006-05-08T13:32:00.000+03:00

The ministry of Endowments (which is responsible for religion...still not registering why!) had been discussing this project forever, and now they're saying they're about to implement it:

When the project starts, a single muezzin chosen for the quality of his voice will make the call to prayer from a central location and the call will be transmitted directly to loudspeakers at the top of the city's thousands of minarets.

I agree with this government project for a change. But, I have an Orwellian concern: What if somebody, other than the muezzin gets hold of this 'magic' microphone? We're not talking about radio now, which some people have, some don't, and you can never guarantee that even all those who have it are tuned in to the same station at the same time. We're talking about a 'voice' that will be heard all over Egypt in the same instant. The speakers at all the different mosques would be operated remotely. So, if somebody decided to hog the microphone for any reason, all of Egypt would have to hear him!
Now, I can understand how tight the security would be around this 'blessed' microphone, but what if the government is the one who will abuse it. They can start be playing nationalistic songs in national days, and then move one to broadcasting messages about how great the achievements of the governments (and the party) are. Then they can have a unified call for us to wake up, and another one to sleep. It can also be used in emergencies like 'outlaws wanting to destabilize the country through riots and demonstrations', by contracting some interior minister assistant to read us our rights as citizens. But, it won't be all bad, happy moments will be shared also. Like Gamal Jr.'s first words, or the harmonic voice of the First Snore.
Now, that's what I call a united nation!

Pure Flickr Goodness

2006-05-08T02:28:00.000+03:00

Ayat Shendy, biology student at Kent State, demonstrates her belly dancing in front of an Egyptian flag and a gold woven fabric listing the 99 different names of Allah. Ayat's never taken any belly dancing classes, but "It's in my blood!," she says.

Courtesy of BohPhoto (more excellent photos there)

Egyptian Magna Carta (cont'd)

2006-05-08T01:59:00.000+03:00

Article 2:

The Emergency law isn't a popular concern. And, it's not on the "public agenda". Don't make a fuss about it.

(i.e. the fact that we can round you up, abuse you, then kidnap you isn't really your thing. We give you freedom, we take it as we see fit, and we determine what's on your agenda)

Gamal Mubarak, Egypt's next monarch

Via Almasry Alyoum [English machine translation]

Egyptian Magna Carta

2006-05-08T01:57:00.000+03:00

Article 1:

You bitches. You sons of bitches. This is how it is going to be from now on if you do not behave and know your limits. If you do not behave you’ll have the bottom of my old shoes all over you

Sami Sedhom, Assistant to the Egyptian Minister of Interior

Via The Arabist

You Have The "Right" To Shut Up

2006-05-07T11:15:00.000+03:00

Conservatives are funny. Mid-Easterners ones rock. But whatever you think of their mental abilities, they are on their best form when they're butchering, err, I mean analyzing works of art.
I have watched 'V for Vendetta'. Good movie. Not an artiste film, but good for a 'flick'. Never heard of the book before (that's an ignorance I'm willing to admit), so I wasn't really burdened by trying to find minute discrepancies between the movie and the book. Also, I think a movie, is a movie, is a movie. Just watch the movie, and have your opinion based on that. Who cares what the book really said? I can only hold an artist accountable (hold an artist accountable? doesn't look right to me, but will do...also I'm saying artist in the instance with a huge grain of salt!), I said I can hold him accountable for what he/she said. Period. Also, drop the ideological paranoia. The more ideological your interpretation is, the more you seem, well, an ideologist!
But back to conservatives. The pundits among them especially. They seem to have a general tendency to be well, what should I say, angry! There are always huge chips on their shoulders. They don't 'criticize', they 'attack'; they don't 'debunk', they 'annihilate' (if you don't believe me, wait for the responses to this post!). Well, good for them! The more dangerous neo-cons aside, they all remind me of children playing sims. 'I'm sitting on my lazy-boy, too, you guessed it, lazy to lift a finger, but I'm just gonna sit here and write incredibly angry blogs, about how the evil, immoral, godless left is trying to destroy our way of living through it's evil arm in Hollywood, with movies like the 'Passion of Christ', and 'The Matrix'...after that let's pop-in a dvd, and check that new flick"
Gimme a break! Hollywood is an insult to 'Cinema', but not to the right-wing!
As I was waiting for 'V' to start, a trailer for a movie called 'The Great Raid' came up. I turned to the guy next to me, and said 'How much would you wanna bet that these words will be said in the next 30 seconds: honour, pride, freedom, courage..." Before I even finished, the narrator started with his deep voice "They were men of honour, they were on a mission, a mission to secure our freedom...a mission to restore our pride"...or some shit like that!
If I got a penny for every Hollywood movie that romanticized war, spread pseudo-nationalistic sentiments, or tried to sneak quasi-religious morality behind our backs, I would be partying with Ahnuld in some Republican party fundraiser.

Ma Dawg Down At The Sharm -- Keepin It Real!!

2006-05-04T10:08:00.000+03:00

I've been taking myself too seriously these past couple of days, so here is a little bit of pure Egyptian 'diversion'
We now have our own 50P! Check it out yo!
Now, I am pretty sure the guys down at the Sharm have their own "amateur" finding service...if you known what I mean!
Peace out hommies!

Via: Walk Like An Egyptian

Bush Couldn't Pronounce "Suppress" Too Many Times, I Guess!

2006-05-03T12:26:00.000+03:00

I've never been a fan or a supporter of the "America has to do it" ideology when it comes to democratic reforms in Egypt. They might have something to do with the "opening up" of last year, I'll give you that, but now the IHT thinks that they're also accomplices in the "cracking down" of last weeks. Must read!

Via The Arabist

Mubarak vs Hamas

2006-05-02T03:27:00.000+03:00

It seems that all quasi-royal families tend to hold grudges. Bush held a big one for Saddam, and Mubarak seem to be holding one for Hamas.
Now before Neocons (Americans, and Arabs--can you believe we have those? strange times!) start fuming "Hamas is a terrorist organization" out of their nostrils, let me just say that I'm speaking from a completely pragmatic, Egyptian, strategic point of view. Machiavellian, if you wish.
It is a strategic imperative that whoever is governing Palestine will need Egyptian support (for lots of reasons). And for a while Egypt seemed to be holding on to this card, as if it will bail us out of some jail; thanks to our horrible foreign policy, this was the only issue that kept Egypt a relevant regional player (i.e. "America, Israel, or the EU can't talk to Palestinians? Easy, go to Mubarak down in Cairo, and he'll take care")
It is also well known that Hamas (the democratically elected Palestinian government, for better or worse) is a satellite organization of Ikhwan (MB) in Egypt (in his latest TV interview, Mahdy Akef bragged that Ismail Hanea, Palestinian PM, consulted with him about his cabinet)
It is also a fact that the Palestinian president, Mahmoud Abbas, isn't the gladdest folk on the block about the outcome of the Palestinian elections; he certainly wished for his Fatah to form the government.
In a situation like this, I would imagine that Egypt should have tried to hold all the strings in its hands. Mubarak should have tried to 1) contain Hamas and win their trust; 2) up the pressure on Mahmoud Abbas to try to get him to cooperate with his government; and 3) convince the Americans and the Europeans, as well as Hamas, that if anybody wanted to communicate anything to the other party, then they should take it to him...in other words, play everybody's friend (aka Mubarak's favorite position). This would have achieved 1) more stability in Palestine which translates to securer borders, and more stability in Sinai; 2) bigger strategic role for Egypt in the middle east (and can be used as bargaining card in other issues like limits on exports, free zone agreement, etc...); and 3) effectively drive a stake through the MB by containing their Palestinian branch (come on, if the man can get them the aid money from the US and Europe, they wouldn't mind having a Supreme Guide Mubarak!)
Instead, Mubarak ignores Hamas, his FM snubs his Palestinian counterpart, and then later he travels to Jordan to join its boyking in his chorus about how the "evil Hamas is trying to destabilize my country"!
Again, remember that this has nothing to do with the nature of Hamas. Mubarak is so old to be talking about stands for principles now. So spare me those!

Nothing But Respect Over Here

2006-05-02T03:07:00.000+03:00

To all our Kuwaiti friends: Not trying to patronize in anyways, but this is more of self criticism...
The Constitutional Court of Kuwait revoked yesterday a 1979 Princely decree banning public gatherings and demonstrations (aka Emergency Law in Egypt).
Now, the Kuwaiti state is around 45 years old, while the Egyptian (as our beloved flag-bearing, fascist media pundits like to remind us all the time) is 7000 years old. If you put it in historical context, Kuwait is light years ahead of us when it comes to democracy, and respect to the rule of law.
And, it is a monarchy!!
Really, change the anthem to God save the President already!!

"Now?! Whatever Happened To Good Timing?!!"

2006-04-30T15:17:00.000+03:00

In a surprising move (not as much for its nature, as for its timing amid all the protests from pro-reform activists), Ahmed Nazif, asked the parliament to renew the emergency law, citing Dahab as justification.
So, for the uninitiated, this essentially mean one thing "NO assembly of more than 3 people, right to freedom from random arrests, free press, uncorrupt government, civil state, freeing of political prisoners FOR YOU!"
This Sucks! (Yeah with a capital S)

Update 1: The law apparently passed from the parliament!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow, that was fast, I didn't even feel a thing!
Update 2: Wtf?? Apparently the people's representatives in the parliament missed the fact that the whole idea of the parliament is to voice your opinion, with your voice! Not use banners to do that!!! Yeah...MB representatives carried (Arabic - English[machine-translated])"No For Emergency Law" banners during the session, so NDP's representatives carried "No For Terrorism" banners, so (yeah it goes on ) the MB representatives responded by carrying "No For Emergency, No For Terrorism" banners!!!!! That's the parliament for God's sake, not a fuckin' football stadium!! I want to cry!!
Update 3: I'm in the mood for doing something illegal, just to piss off the emrergilaw. Do you know that it's illegal in the Egyptian law to hang a flag on a non-government building!!!!!!(I swear it's true!!!) Let's hang some flags!!! (Oh...I'm so evil!)

How Big are Those Prisons Anyhow?

2006-04-30T12:57:00.000+03:00

It is either that:
a) I know one too many outlaws; or
b) The government is arresting everybody those days
I go for b)
After having a couple of friends snatched at a checkpoint in Dahab (to be later released, thank god), another guy I know is being held (probably by Amn El Dawla) for participating in last Monday's sit-in in front of the Judges' Club (the same day, Judge Mahmoud Hamza was beaten up). His friends set up a blog with lots of information, and updates.
For all it is worth, go visit!

Newsweek: Right On Mark

2006-04-30T10:48:00.000+03:00

For an American mainstream magazine, this article in this week's Newsweek is admirably insightful. Nothing earth-shattering though. The same everybody is saying: Mubarak is cracking down on pro-democracy advocates rather than islamists, he is setting the stage for Gamal to rise, and Ayman Nour is our Che Guevara (enough with the sobbing over Nour, the man is inflated by too much expectations already). Glad that the story about the Judges struggle is getting picked up in big-time media, though.

Akef's Non-Positions

2006-04-29T15:50:00.000+03:00

Stayed up late to watch an interview of Mahdi Akef, the Muslim Brotherhood Supreme Guide on MBC. Here are my remarks:

Akef seemed to be chiefly interested in two things during the interview: a)Save face after the disclosure of his infamous interview, by reiterating "I respect Egyptians" every second of the interview; and b)Continue the MB's suspicious non-positions, vague, attitude.
The MB is acutely aware that their strength lies more in the perceived than in the real. Meaning: if we keep repeating that we are strong, people will think we're strong, so they'll either join us or fear us. Examples of what he said: "all the world is afraid from us", "we could have contested more than the 120 seats we ran for in parliament, but didn't want to embarrass the regime"
As I mentioned earlier, Akef seems to be confused about the relation between the MB and Egypt (or more accurately, I am). He kept referring to Egyptians through out the interview in third persons, as in "I respect Egyptians...", "I deal with Egyptians...", etc... Which is kindda confusing to somebody like me: do the ikhwan see themselves as Egyptians, or should the Egyptians be ikhwans (i.e. which is the bigger group? who is your loyalty to?)
Financing. Ooops! A mine field right there. The interviewer (Mahmoud Saad) aptly asked him about the sources of the MB financing, to which Akef answered the jaw-droopingly brazen answer "our sources are secretive and will remain this way"!!!! (at a later point of the interview he said that our financing is from our pockets, but given that the MB spans 70 countries as he claimed, this could mean that the money is coming from anywhere really)
Vague answers. He said that one of the goals of the MB is to spread culture. When asked what kind of culture, he just kept repeating "high culture, good culture..." It is either he didn't want to say Islamic culture upfront, which is unlikely, or, as I suspect, he is just babbling. He also didn't answer clearly about what they mean by having khilafa (a completely religiously unsupported historical concept, which essentially boils down to an individual man's rule). He said that it is not just the dream of the MB, but of everybody! And then when he was asked about the nature of that rule, he just didn't answer. When Saad asked him whether it is something like the EU but with each country having its autonomy, he said "but they have one foreign minister, don't they?" "yes!" "then we're in agreement"!!!!
He kept denying that the MB is involved in any sort of violent activities, and kept evading questions about the MB's historic involvement in violence.
Stupid government moment. Farouk Hosny, Egypt's culture minister, called at the middle of the interview to respond to something the first guest (Ibrahim Eissa) said. He seemed to be interested in saving face. The strange part is that he didn't take aim at Akef at all. The last time I checked, the MB was a forbidden political group, and are in clear opposition to the government, so why not act as a political person and use the air time to counter their views, dismiss it, or even ridicule it?? It is either he didn't get the talking points memo, or, as an artist, he was too afraid to get his feelings hurt by Akef (my suspicion: both!)

I tried to have an open mind while watching the interview, but my feelings about the MB didn't change much after it: They should have a clear agenda for what they're trying to do (i.e. policies, and projects, not just theories, and banner-speak). The "we're good people, aiming for good things" attitude I believe is embarrassingly inadequate.

Excellent Photos

2006-04-29T06:38:00.000+03:00

Such is the beauty of Web 2.0.
While surfing aimlessly at Flickr, I came across these hauntingly "real" pictures of Thursday standoff in front of the Judges Club. Go check.
Courtesy of mattjsaw

There is a Reason There are Quotes #3

2006-04-29T04:49:00.000+03:00

A revolution is coming - a revolution which will be peaceful if we are wise enough; compassionate if we care enough; successful if we are fortunate enough - but a revolution which is coming whether we will it or not. We can affect its character, we cannot alter its inevitability.

John F. Kennedy

hat tip: Worldwide Sawdust

Let The Comics Begin...

2006-04-29T03:47:00.000+03:00

I really believe in the power of comedy. Especially in a country like Egypt. The day we start cracking jokes (because if you haven't noticed, it had been a very long time since there were any good new jokes), is the day I know that this country is getting back on track.
Anyways, I followed closely the last American presidential elections, and the one thing that I really admired was JibJab's cartoons (check those out in sequence:This Land, Good to Be in DC!, Second Term).
I think it is often the case that laughing at something is the first step towards making sense of it, and feeling empowered enough to be able to confront it. (Some may argue that it is a sort of an adapting mechanism; so instead of rejecting something, you learn to accept it and live with it--maybe).
The reason I am mentioning that is that somebody recently sent me this link, which is, umm, ok. Certainly not the best (and borrowed extensively from Sims :-;), but it can be the start towards having real political parody.
So, to the creatives out there: I am giving you ideas, do your thing!
To everybody else: have you heard of any good jokes recently? Share!

Making Sense of it All

2006-04-27T22:11:00.000+02:00

Whatever your political inclination are, your class, your level of education, or even whether you're actually in Egypt, or outside, there is one fact that is clear to everybody: this country is on the move.
Now, before dismissing my remarks as unjustified optimistic wish-wash let me just say that this movement I am referring to isn't necessarily in a positive direction. Heck, everything that is happening so far is negative (ferry, bird flu, Dahab, judges, sectarian violence, mass arrests). The regime is even getting back to completely-useless-albeit-foolish tactics. They arrested Al-Jazeera's bureau chief in Cairo for "disseminating false information", and a relatively unknown poet (Amin El-Deeb) for a really benign poem.
So, the thing isn't really all pink with rosy flowers on top.
But...
I can't see how the regime can really contain all the anger this time.
It's simply not possible at all.
With all the different parties that have axis to grind with this regime, it is quite implausible the regime would be able to crack down on everybody.
This regime is getting smaller (humiliated, defied, and criticized) by the day, and the opposition (judges, Kifaya, etc...) are getting larger by the day.
Every day is a decisive day, and even if no substantial gains are won by the opposition, they're winning more and more support, and more and more respect.

This time, and only this time, it can only get up from here.

The Judges vs. Government Showdown

2006-04-27T11:25:00.000+02:00

Today is set to be a decisive day in the struggle of judges against a coercive government.
Today at 10 two judges, who had the audacity to question the possibility that some judges were involved in poll rigging during last year's parliamentary elections, will face a disciplinary committee (note: they will face, not the judges who actually rigged the polls!! That's how twisted this country is).
I passed yesterday through Abdel Khalek Sarwat St (where the Judges' Club--the epicenter of the confrontation--is located). The scene there was awesome in every regard. The banners declaring the support of the Journalists' Syndication, Bar Association, and every other organization, to "Egypt's Free Judges". The writings on the walls, and on the streets ("liberated Area", "Without Mubarak, Egypt is Beautiful"). The number of central security forces trucks down there is also awesome. It is practically a war zone down there.
I happen to be working down the street from all the action today, so expect further updates, and news about what is supposed to be a very eventful day.
For background, go to Baheya's excellent post about the issue.
A video of last night's security crack down on protestors is here.

Update 1: Sirens never ceased to sound for the last half hour...will keep you updated!
Update 2: Another excellent account of yesterday's events from the Arabist.
Update 3: Well, it seems that clashes are already underway.
Update 4: A couple of ambulances are rushing towards the scene...not clear why yet (mind the scene is just next to the central ambulance facility of Cairo, so might be unrelated)
Photos are coming in. Click on the markers on the map
Update 5: The hearing was delayed (Arabic) to the 11th of May.
Update 6: Police attacked an MB protest in support of judges. Video (hattip: Waay El-Masry)
Update 7: Something to lighten up the mood.
Update 8: I went down there at around 6 PM to check. There was around 120 protestors remaining, mainly on the stairs of the journalists' Syndicate, and on the pavement of the Judges' Club (see map below). On the other side, ther was around 3000 security soldiers, around 30-40 trucks, and 4 fire engines (they use their fire hoses to disperse crowds). When I got there, soldiers were doing laps around Abd El-Khalek St. (a scare tactic apparently!!). But the clashes obviously subsided.
Update 9: Read Kifaya's account of the events (Arabic)
More photos are coming in. Click on the markers on the map

The King Had Left the Building #2

2006-04-26T20:27:00.000+02:00

To prove what I was saying, here is a transcript of a TV interview in Australia during which a strategic analyst confirms what I was saying: the man is taking the sun ship express!

1981

2006-04-26T19:50:00.000+02:00

I've been thinking a lot about this recently, and the rapidly developing events in the Sinai peninsula are only confirming my doubts: 2006 is 1981 all over again.
In case you don't know, 1981 was the year during which, on October 6th precisely, president Anwar El-Sadat was assassinated in the middle of a military parade commemorating the 6th of October victory of the Egyptian forces against Israel in 1973.
Somehow lesser known events, are the mass arrests of September 1981. Under the pretense that Sadat wanted to make sure that nothing will go wrong before Israel completed the last stage of withdrawal from Sinai in April 1982, hundreds of politicians, journalists, professionals, activists, artists, etc.. were arrested. Some historians think that these arrests were perpetuated by some elements which infiltrated the regime in order to agitate the different groups, and divide the blame of his subsequent murder among many different parties, so that the state would be helpless in retaliating (There is a saying in Arabic which translates to "His blood was divided among the tribes").
If you watch close enough, you'd find out that what we have today is a somewhat similar situation. Everybody is pissed off at the regime, and each group for its own reasons. Here is the rundown:

Muslim Extremists: The regime, after tolerating them for a very long time, decided to crack down on the Muslim Brotherhood, just out of the blue sky. Hundreds of MB members were detained during the last couple of weeks.
Copts: Copts feel that the government didn't protect them (and even some go as far as saying that it facilitated) the April 14th attack on three churches in Alexandria.
Reformists: Kifaya members are detained almost daily during the numerous protests that take place in different parts of Egypt. (But are more frequent nowadays in support of the judges movement)
Judges: Judges are pushing for more autonomy, but are being paid back by suspending two of them from work, and asking them to appear before a disciplinary committee, for exposing elections fraud during the last parliamentary elections. Some judges are even physically abused.
Bedouins: The natives of Sinai, and most of the Egyptian desert. They see themselves as outcasts of the Egyptian political system, with meager share in any sort of development happening anywhere in Egypt. And if that wasn't enough, hundreds of them were hurdled and arrested after the Taba and Sharm attacks last year. They were treated so badly, that some believe they are actively participating in the recent attacks as some form of retaliation.

Plus, external parties:

Sudanese: Because of the inhumane way the Egyptian police dealt with the Sudanese refugees striking at the middle of Cairo.
Shiaa: Because of Mubarak's less than diplomatic comments about their loyalty to Iran.
Hamas: Because Egypt has withdrawn all sorts of support for the Palestinian government, and its foreign minister even refused to meet his Palestinian counterpart.

It will be completely plausible that any, some, or all of those groups would take part in any action that is aimed at toppling the current regime in Egypt. It is only a matter of time.
Following the recent pattern of Sinai attacks (October 6th for Taba, July 23rd for Sharm, and April 25th for Dahab; all national days), the next appropriate slot would be Revolution day on July 23rd.
Or could it be May 4th??

BREAKING NEWS

2006-04-26T19:04:00.000+02:00

A blast outside a multinational air base in Sinai. No news of casualties yet.
Update: Well, according to Al-Jazeera web site, 2 of the multinational forces (IFOR) were injured.
Update 2: The injured soldiers are a Norwegian, a New Zelandian, and two Egyptian officers. Link
Update 3: According to Al-Jazeera TV, apparently another bomb exploded in Belbayes, Sharkiya. It apperared to have targeted a police car. I don't know why but I get the feeling that this will be a very long day!
Update 4: This is confirmed by Al-Jazeera: North Sinai witnessed TWO explositions; one at the IFOR base, and the other at Moderayet El-Amn (Security Bureau) at Ariesh.
Update 5: Link
Update 6: It appears that the explosion in Sharkia targeted a police checkpoint kameen
Update 7:The attacks are being described by Reuters as "abortive". Wonder what were the real targets?! They're also adding that nobody was hurt at all. This conflicts with earlier reports, but we'll stay tuned.
Update 8: The interior minister is denying the Sharkia bomb completly. So, I guess it was just another Jazeera hoax!
Update 9: The interior minister is saying that Bedouins are responsible for Dahab attacks. And that those who planned today explosions are related to Dahab ones.
I guess that he really jumped the gun in accusing Bedouins. Let's just hope that they are treated better than last time. Or, else...

Something To Think About

2006-04-26T12:28:00.000+02:00

I came across this line of poetry recently, and I think that it accurately represents how it feels being in Egypt now:

لعمرك ما ضاقت بلاد باهلها**ولكن اخلاق الرجال تضيق
(Oh, by my life, a country is never too small for its people**but people's characters can get smaller)

Think about it.

Note: It was mentioned by Heikel on his last episode in Al-Jazeera, when asked about the situation in Egypt nowadays.

How To Not Get Caught By Police in Egypt

2006-04-26T10:34:00.000+02:00

It is becoming increasingly harder and harder to evade being caught by the Egyptian police. If you want to pass this privilege, here are your options:

Be Powerful: Seek a powerful position that grants you immunity from random police arrests. Something like a judge (not any judge, try to be the President of Northern Cairo's Courts). Or better, a Member of the parliament.
Be Cool: Avoid all sorts of political or religious debates, and run to Dahab (Arabic) or Sharm to mingle with Russian hotties. (Two of the three names mentioned in the article as being arrested are friends of mine, so I know why they were in Dahab--and it wasn't to pop any bombs)
Be Rocking: Don't even move outside Cairo. Just go to heavy metal parties and head-bang your night away.
Be a Fan: Just go to the stadium and support your team!
Be Religious: Just go to your local mosque, pray, and stay there (are you kidding me?!!)
Be Friends with Zakaria Azmy (Arabic): Well, this will buy you some time, but again nothing is guaranteed in this country

As being a blogger still didn't make it to the list, I guess I'll just shut up now...You never know how far is too far when pushing your luck over here in Egypt.

Hi Honey

2006-04-26T01:26:00.001+02:00

Two examples of religious off-the-wallness:

A Muslim cleric declaring that eating honey is haram (forbidden) because, get this, bees collect nectar from flowers in other people's gardens, so they're in effect stealing it!!!!
The coptic church declaring that eating honey is haram during Lent because it is after all a product of a living soul!!

Now that's something we can all agree on!

Cairo Spring?

2006-04-21T09:35:00.000+02:00

In case you were beginning to lose faith or slip into depression, as I was about to, please follow this link to Big Pharoh's brilliant (and I mean BRILLIANT) post about the national unity rally that took place in Cairo on Thursday (looks like Shubra St. to me).

This pic is just breathtaking! (I knew all those African Cup flags would come handy one day!)

Those Are Our Two Options?!!

2006-04-21T00:48:00.000+02:00

We (the Egyptians) are having it both ways. And not in the good sense.
This is exactly what I feared: the MB (Ikhwan) are now striking back at the government's chaotic, and bit desperate, attack on Mahdy Akef's infamous Toz.
Take this article(Arabic) for example. It is written by some Abd El-Geliel Sharnouby on the Ikhwan site. In short the author is trying to say something like: Akef's Toz is insignificant when compared to Mubarak's & Co repeated disregards, humiliations, and injustices towards the Egyptian people.
Well Mr Sharnouby, I couldn't agree with you more on the Mubarak & co side of the argument. But because somebody is committing evil, that doesn't mean that it is ok for you to do some more. There is a verse in Quran which says just that "La tazer wazera wezr ok'hra" "Nobody should be taken for the sin of another" (they're insulting us, Egyptians, using the execuse that the government does as well!!!!!).
Or do you just use Quran when it is going your way?

The Ikhwan are trying to portray this as a "we" against "them" struggle. And this is the greatest calamity of all.
Now I know how does it feel being between a rock and a hard place!

The King Had Exited The Building

2006-04-20T16:23:00.000+02:00

Elvis fans everywhere: excuses my trespassing.

A recent post I wrote (which wasn't intended in anyways to be an actual puzzle, and, no there would be no prizes!)...seemed to generate some interest. What surprised my though, was the fact that nobody was able to guess who I meant by this.
The story, The Emperor's New Clothes, speaks of an emperor, who as a result of his pride, end up walking down the street naked, while everybody is too afraid to tell him that he is and just continue to admire his 'invisible new clothes. Even after he himself discovers that he was butt-naked, he is too proud to admit it and continue walking!
The story is

...often used in political and social contexts for any obvious truth denied by the majority despite the evidence of their eyes, especially when proclaimed by the government

Rings any bells?
Well, here it is. I've been thinking about the thing for a while, and I came up with this conclusion. Hold on to your seats...
For all practical purposes Mubarak is dead!
[horrified looks]
Yeah, I believe he is, and we individually know that he is, but nobody can get out and say it because after all there is a lot of apparent proofs that he is still alive. Or so we tell ourselves. But I can argue that there are other proofs that support my theory.
An example:
Do you honestly think that Mubarak, a military man all his life, actually deals with softy-soft Nazif (the prime minister)? I mean think about it...do you really think that Nazif explained this whole e-government thing to Mubarak?...that would be a funny conversation:
Nazif: ..so Mr. President we're implementing this new system to cut the processing times, increase the productivity of our employees, and increase the satisfaction levels of the citizens...
Mubarak: Aeh?
Nazif: I said....
Mubarak: let those sons of $%&*# suffer a little...you know when we we're back in the military we used to spend days....
And he goes on rumbling about his military experience, and how him being a pilot helped him learn to cope with all kinds of situations.
Do you honestly think that this happens?
Now, substitute Mubarak Sr., with Jr., and the thing makes much more sense...
Nazif: ..so Mr. President's son, we're implementing this new system to cut the processing times, increase the productivity of our employees, and increase the satisfaction levels of the citizens...
Mubarak Jr: sure thing Nizi...do your thing...can you send somebody to fix my iPod?
Nazif: cando sir, right on it!
Now that seems a bit more appropriate.

Not convinced?
Another proof:
Living people watch TV. That's basic. It the sign you're alive and well. According to what Mubarak had been saying in newspapers the past couple of days, it seems that he didn't switch on his set for a while (and I mean his TV set you perv...although it makes a lot of sense this way also!!). He keeps on saying that what happened in Alexandria is a result of a conspiracy to destabilize the country, and that's not what Egypt is really like, and that he'll stand firmly against those who try to escalate the matters. It is as if he is a protected housewife who thinks that 'evil people' are doing this. Had he switched on his TV, he would have saw that his beloved-always-in-his-mind struggling class Egyptians are the ones beating each other in the streets.
So no TV means reason #2 he is walking "through the valley of the shadow of death"

More reasons?
Egypt has no diplomatic presence in Africa, the Middle East, or even the Caribbean Islands. The Palestinian FM Mahmoud El-Zahar came to Egypt but couldn't meet anybody. He even kept knocking on the door. Iran is roaming through out the region freely. The ferry guy escaped to London but nobody seems to care....

Need even more reasons?
Here is the biggie...traffic in Egypt isn't held to a complete stand still everytime he moves as much as the distance from his bedroom to the bathroom...can you believe that?!!
Heck, the man is so dead!

Is That True?

2006-04-19T11:32:00.000+02:00

Is Egypt the hardest hit, by bird flu, non-Asian country ??

Guess Who?

2006-04-19T09:56:00.000+02:00

It is not that the Emperor has no clothes, but it seems that he is apparently standing in the middle of the street waving his wooden warder at passersby, threatening that he will “stand firmly against any attempt to threaten national unity” (Al-Ahram April 15^th, P.1). While people are running around for their lives, he seems to be delusional about his once great powers, and his ability to make the world turn at his whimsy. Just like the Hussein “marshals” with bottle caps instead of insignia on their shoulders!

Can you guess who?

We So Deserve an MB Government!

2006-04-17T16:46:00.000+02:00

It is no secret that I'm not the world's greatest Muslim brotherhood fan. I think I have very credible worries about the level of accountability any ruler who claims to govern by divine order will have.
That's why I am really furious that somebody like Mahdy Akef, the MB Supreme Guide (that's one wacky title by the way) can get away with saying something like "Toz Fe Misr" (Screw Egypt!).
Some of you might claim that he didn't get away and that the government newspapers and TV stations are all over him for that. Granted. But what about people? Do you see anybody going all ballistic about this? I can't see anybody going to the streets with banners like "Screw you, Akef" or even "Shame on you". Nothing! It is as if nobody cares about the country.
Well, in fact, what I think happened is that some people rationalized the thing this way: "He said Toz Fe Misr because he thought that having an Islamic Caliph is more important...you know what, it makes sense...Toz Fe Misr"
If somebody can get away with insulting the whole country on tape, he can get away with anything. This is the accountability problem I was talking about.
And that is Fascism in the worst kind of way!

update: here is a link to the transcript of the interview (Arabic). Here is also a very well balanced rebuttal in Goumhoria (government newspaper, so the well balanced part is quite surprising)(Arabic also). It asks a very simple question; Mahdy Akef thinks that it is ok for any Muslim to rule a country like Egypt, yet the MB never had a supreme guide who is not Egyptian (and they have a lot of affiliate organizations everywhere)! How is that for hypocrisy?!

Kick Ass Moderatism

2006-04-17T14:55:00.001+02:00

The problem with being rational and moderate, is that you're by definition unthreatening. You're not intimidating enough so that people (especially our people) would have to follow or even listen to you.
Yesterday I was talking with a couple of friends about what happened in Alexandria, and expectedly enough, one of them started the "the copts had it coming" monologue. I lashed out on him. I give him a good 'ol screw off. I think I even mentioned a body part of his mother (Egyptian curse). His reaction was amazing; he smiled and said, something like, you have a point I guess, and we should all try to cool the thing off!!
I was amazed. I tried to maintain the angry persona, but I think I failed to hide a vindication smile.
So here you go, the next time somebody tries to apologize for terrorists or claim that "Zionists are behind this" go crazy. And I mean it! You have no idea how effective that will be! We have some serious problems, and it is for everybody's good that we should take matters seriously and talk about issues openly.

Where Am I Heading?

2006-04-16T18:59:00.000+02:00

I thought, as I drove my car through Cairo streets on my way to work. I looked around me and people seemed to be going about their daily business. They are crowded, annoyed, smelly, and miserable, I thought. The traffic stopped for a while near an underground station, and I can only picture the metro going relentlessly between stations as just one huge casket transporting the undead through the various circles of hell. The hell of mediocrity, apathy, and bigotry. Such is a Dantian hyperbole, I thought with a melancholic smile across my face.

Cairo’s intrusive summer sun (it’s summer already over here) added to the discomfort. I remembered last Friday’s sermon. I wake up late and I had to go to a mosque other than my regular one. One of the never-ending-sermons ones. Reminiscent of the ones I had to sit through every summer in the mosques of Alexandria. The kind of sermons which goes on for a couple of hours. Anyways, last Friday’s was really annoying. The guy kept repeating really naïve arguments, and using such childish methods of persuasion, that I felt really, and deeply insulted. For the first time in my life I thought of walking away from the prayer, but then thought that my patience would be rewarded “I went to pray, AND I endured that Imam...” I remembered Friday, and I felt anger accumulating in me.

I drove for a couple of hundred of meters to be stopped again by traffic. This time I was on the 6^th of October, immediately next to an old church in Shubra. From my position, I was at the same level of the cross with the words “Blessed are the two peoples of Egypt” inscribed across it. Yeaaaaah, I reminisced. I remember reading this sentence every time I was going to my grandpa’s as a child. I always wondered who those two peoples are?

At this exact moment the radio started playing a relatively old song by Egyptian pop singer Simone. The song was sung in both Greek and Arabic. The song is a relatively “average” pop song, but no piece of music had affected me as much as the buzuki solo at the beginning of the song. I was really touched. And I started remembering…

I remembered my first week in university when I was introduced to Hero of Alexandria in my scientific thinking class. I can see him working on the steam engine (he designed it but never implemented it) in his lab overlooking the Bibliotheca Alexandrina, whose marble stairs glowed so brightly under the summer light; sailors had to cover their eyes while docking their ships. I remembered Sayed Darwish tinkering with his Ou’d on the eve of Sa’ad Zaghloul’s return from exile, and coming up with the immortal “Ya balah Zaghloul…”…I remembered old footages of priests on top of demonstrations coming out of mosques in 1919. I remembered Yehia El-Fakharany’s smile as he played Bocchi in Zezinia...the half Italian, half Egyptian playboy who roamed Alexandria’s street for love. I remembered the boys and girls strolling down the Corniche while the boy is thinking of a way to steal a quick kiss from his girl. I remembered Elizabeth Taylor courting Antony, and Alexander taming his horse on his way to his city with an angel on his finger.

The buzuki continued playing, and I started to cry…

Wake Up, Stupid!

2006-04-11T17:23:00.000+02:00

Our mainstream media is funny! Yeah it is corrupt, mercenary, and downright manipulative, but the extreme it is pushing it's limits to is bordering on comedy.
Take the last fiasco Mubarak caused with his less than diplomatic remarks about Shiites in Iraq. Our media is handling the thing, the same way Shaggy would: "Say it wasn't me!" They're just simply, and naively ignoring the thing, as if it didn't happen at all. They even cut out the whole part about Shiites from Mubarak's interview in TV reruns and newspapers. It just didn't happen. It is that easy for them. The fact that nearly every single Egyptian house has a satellite dish on it's roof with access to all sorts of news (and I'm not even talking about internet) doesn't seem to phase them a bit. It just didn't happen.
The irony: just beneath Mubarak's censored interview in Ahram, is an article by Ossama Government Agent Saraya, Ahram's editor in chief, trying to apologetically explain what the president really meant with his remarks!! We're like "what remarks Oss guy?, we just erased them from our brains, your Ahram says it isn't so...it must be then!"
Moron!

D'OH!

2006-04-10T04:11:00.000+02:00

Remember my self proclaimed brilliant idea of last week? I guess that is exactly what Mubarak needed during his interview with Al-Arabiya yesterday--when he said that Shiites are not loyal to their countries and are instead loyal only to Iran, he really could have used somebody jumping into the set screaming "Cut!! no, no, no Mr. President, you don't label the followers of a major religious sect as traitors to their own countries, it doesn't work this way, whatever happened to Egypt's extreme neutrality?! Now you're giving those Shiites at Baghdad (update: and Kuwait, and Lebanon) something to bitch about other than all the dead bodies holding traffic in the streets...please stick to the script, we're trying to have a nice finale here, ok? Make Up!!..Everybody in position...Action!"
I guess the old man freaked out when he heard that the US is contemplating nuking Iran. Yeah, right! This is exactly what the US needed to contain anti-American sentiment in the middle east!
The poor old man didn't know that Bush went on a press conference earlier this day, and had this to say:
"Gotcha! haha...I am just messin' with ya...those Iranian guys are my dawgs...I have nothing but love for the hommies over there...all this talk about nuking..it is just...between friends..you know...and this talk about how, i don't know his name, how he resembles Adolf Hitler..haha..that is priceless shit..Cheney came up with this..funny guy..really funny..thanks pops...peace out"

Redena Bi ElHam... (We Accepted Misery...)

2006-04-09T02:37:00.000+02:00

One of the most eloquent Egyptian proverbs is this:

Redena Bi ElHam Wi ElHam Mesh Rady Bena

...which translates to something like: We accepted misery but it just keeps rejecting us.
When you think about it, this is the worst situation you can be put in in any endeavor you undertake. Settling for a mediocrity and then failing at it. This is gotta be the worst feeling ever. At least if you fail trying to do an unexceptional business, competing for a world championship, or trying to date your dream girl, you'll never have to regret not trying; it is just a game of numbers that you didn't win.
What really sucks is settling for clumsy job, playing in junior league, or courting this seemingly unchallenging girl, just because you thought that it would be easier this way, and then -oh, the irony- failing at it.
I had a creative writing professor who once told me: "Don't write about mediocre characters, they're a dime a dozen, write about exceptional people..they don't have to be successful, but if they fail, they fail exceptionally" then he really looked to me "take a stand for authenticity, write about that!"
I guess you just can't cheat your fate!

Don't Ask

2006-04-05T12:19:00.000+02:00

Stranded. Couldn’t find a better word. Sometimes stranded is a word which is associated with islands. Like in “stranded on an island”. That brings a lot of memories. See, I sometime believe that “no man is an island”, but then again, sometime he is. Not even an island, a drop of water in the middle of the ocean. Can it get any lonelier? What is really troubling—yes troubling, not dramatic, or sad, just troubling –is that other drops are unaware of their need the moment this need is about to be satisfied. What I mean is: here you have a droplet of water which is about to meet another one to form a nice bigger drop, which will be smashed to million other ones later in the story, granted, but let’s say that this drop is about to meet this other drop, only to find out that you know what? Why not hold out for a while. Can anybody, any drop be that stupid? Of course both drops would smash to/cuddle in other drops eventually, it s inevitable. But what’s in the wait for A and B? I’ve read somewhere, yeah an interview of Sting in some Reader’s Digest, that the whole point of music is to actually frame silence. Interesting. So maybe the whole idea of being in that sort of bonding with the other droplet is to appreciate/despise the former/latter state of loneliness. This way it makes sense. Delayed gratification, then. I heard somewhere that we’re in the era of instant gratification. Right? I don’t know, but imagine what happens when one droplet wants instant gratification, while the other is trying to delay it. Total mess. One would be pushy, the other would be aloof. Nobody likes pushy, aloof droplets of water. Uha!

Automatic Elections

2006-04-04T16:27:00.001+02:00

A friend told me this story a couple of days ago. The story is about last year's constitution-amendment referendum. A bit old, but nevertheless interesting.
An in-law of his, who was sort of a junior police officer (a lieutenant I guess) was in charge of a certain polling station somewhere in Qaliubiyah, north of Cairo, when one of the employees in the station came to him:
Employee: We need more ballots..we're out of them
Officer: But only 8 or 9 people voted today..I guess you have more ballots than this
Employee: We had, but all is taken care of
Officer: ...
Employee: Don't worry, it is not the first time!

I don't know why, but I believe that this was the case in most stations, and even in the two elections that followed (presidential, and parliamentary). Not that because I believe the government is innocent, but because I know how helpful Egyptians can be!

There is a Reason There are Quotes: Part Deux

2006-04-04T12:32:00.000+02:00

Every country has the government it deserves

Joseph Marie de Maistre

Zamalek vs Wafd For Third Place?!

2006-04-04T10:18:00.000+02:00

There is a joke in Egypt which goes something like this (after modification to fit the occasion): A guy asks his friend "Who won the presidential elections last year, NDP or Wafd?" "NDP" "And who won most matches between Ahly and Zamalek during the past 3 years" "Ahly" "So it is Zamalek vs Wafd for third place, huh?"

The reason I remembered this joke (which had many variations for the past 30 years or so) is the uncanny similarities between Zamalek football club, and El Wafd party, especially when it comes to their "democratic" processes. If you hadn't been following, Zamalek's elected president, Mortada Mansour, was ousted by the government, and replaced by an appointed temporary board, a decision which was revoked by court last Sunday, prompting Mansour to return to Zamalek with the words of Al-Hajjaj entering Baghdad in mind: "I see ripe heads, whose time of harvest had come, and I shall gather them". Noaman Gomaa, Wafd's elected president on the other hand, was ousted by the general assembly of the party, a decision which he refused, prompting massive clashes between supporters of both sides, which climaxed on Saturday, leading to the arrest of Gomaa, and some of the opposition leaders.
In both cases, the two institutions had a serious problem following a peaceful democratic process; both witnessed violent clashes; both were appointed un-democratically elected leaderships; and both appointed leaderships are, unfortunately, much better than the democratic ones.
So what about the finalists (Ahly and NDP)? Well, they both witnessed very long periods of stability due to the presence of very strong, patriarchal leaders.
A funny thing though: when Saleh Seliem (Ahly's late president) died, the new board prevented his son (actor Hesham Seliem) from entering the club citing his failure to pay club fees for the last 30 years. Think about that!

Brilliant Ideas

2006-03-27T14:39:00.000+02:00

Speaking of rocking my socks off, here are a couple of ideas that I wish to see implemented sometime soon.
A while ago, I saw this great site, Cooking for Engineers. The idea is to provide a very methodological, systematic approach to cooking. They have pie charts for pizza pies, vertical breakdown of ingredients, and even some sort of a Gantt chart for the whole process of preparing the pie (we need to create the need for a process reengineering, and we have a whole consulting gig in our hands!). Anyways, the idea is great, and it made me wonder why not have some sort of Dating for Engineers site. You know somewhere where you just plug in the name of your crush, her birth date, and her shoe size, and then you get all sort of directions on how you should approach the operation. Wouldn't it be neat if you have something like a flow chart, where you have directions like "call her for 2:30 minutes the first day"...then a decision "did she call back"..."if she did...increase your calls length and frequency by 10%..."..."if she didn't...cut back 5%, float 5%, and have 20% more time assessing your next opportunity"...That would rock! I'm not an engineer myself, but I always admired their problem solving skills. So, I'm waiting.
Another great idea that I would like to see one day, is some way by which somebody can jump in the middle of a date, immediately when I say something really stupid, and screams something like "CUT...that was bad, bad, bad...we don't do it this way anymore...I need more passion next time...I am wasting raw film here!!...we'll take it from the start...Action!!".
This IS a fail over mechanism we can all appreciate.

P.S. One reason I don't think we have these things is that the phrase "Dating for Engineers" seems to be a paradox!

2006-03-27T12:28:00.000+02:00

There is something terrifying about looking into a blank page.
I don't want to get all artsy on you, but the whole idea of starting from scratch doesn't excite me that much. I am more of a lets-straighten-out-this-mess kind of guy. I need to have substance to work on. I need a problem to solve. Fighting windmills doesn't rock my socks off!!

Tiny MBA at Hussein

2006-03-19T11:24:00.000+02:00

Some people, me included, think that formal business education is an absolute necessity for success in the business world. However, we're reminded every once in a while that good business sense isn't only a product of education, but more importantly, a product of passion for what you do.
Yesterday I was having dinner at a tiny restaurant in Cairo's very old quarter of El-Hussein. The whole dinner experience didn't exceed 20 minutes, but in that 20 minutes I was able to realize why this restaurant (which isn't exactly a restaurant, but rather an occupation of a tiny alleyway) continues to be very successful.
I'm in a line of business where people think in bullets, so here are my observations:

The restaurant only sells stuffed pigeons. Of course they have salad, soup, bread, and some meat; but the whole show is mainly about stuffed pigeons. Talk about leveraging competitive advantage.
The business was hit hard by the Bird Flu scare. To counter this, the walls of the restaurant were all adorned with photocopies of articles from independent newspapers stressing that pigeons weren't infected with the virus. This form of PR is more effective than a chicken producer's 30 seconds spots on radio and TV saying that our chicken is all right, if you asked me.
As I said before, the whole dinner lasted around 20 minutes. Because of a very limited menu, and standardized components (one salad, one bread, one soup) , the waiters are able to serve fresh dishes quickly.
You don't get to pay for the salad, the bread, or the soup. You fully expect beforehand what will you pay at the end. "You had 2 pigeons?", me: "yes", "that will be 32 L.E. (6$)". That's it. So although you're obviously paying for the other things, you get the feeling that you had every other thing as freebies. No sales taxes, or service taxes either.
The restaurant has a head waiter. This guy is analogous to a football team captain. He stand at the center of the restaurant, and direct the other waiters to the tables that require their attention, but he never serves anything himself. That's why I was surprised when I saw him serving this huge pan filled of rice and meat to a table at the far corner of the restaurant. It turned out that the restaurant was about to close (it was 2 AM) and that this table was the workers' table, where everybody who works there will go to have their dinner before going home. Only this table is waited on by the head waiter. Seems like a very effective team building technique to me.

Of course most of these things aren't done because of a proper knowledge of the business principles underlying them, but rather, as I said earlier, as a result of an instinctive realization of the importance of the success of the business to everybody involved in it.
Sometimes doing is more important than knowing!

Stock Market Wisdom

2006-03-18T15:20:00.000+02:00

I have been a bit quiet lately, mainly because of work reasons.
The top news around the office (and many offices across Egypt) last week, seemed to be the stock market crash. In less than half an hour last Tuesday, some stocks lost as much as 20% of its market value.
For analysts, the crash seemed to be a normal consequence of a bubble that had been growing for the last 3 months. But some 'investors' thought otherwise; some demonstrated in front of the Cairo Stock Exchange demanding their money back!!
This whole thing reminds me of an old Story of Goha.
For the uninitiated, Goha is a a historical character, whose authenticity is doubted, and that appears in the literature of various Mid-Eastern countries. He is usually the village wise fool, whose antics seems to reflect genuine wisdom. Even in the sophisticated world of financial markets it seems! Anyways, the story goes like this:
Goha goes for his neighbors asking them to lend him a pan to cook in. They do. Two days later he returns the pan, with a smaller pan inside. When asked about the smaller pan, he says that the larger pan gave birth to the smaller one, and that they should have it. His neighbors are very happy. A week later, he goes again asking for another pan. Tempted by the possibility that this pan will also give birth, his neighbors lend him their biggest pan.
A week passes without any news from Goha. His neighbors go to his home and ask him for their pan. "I'm sorry but it is dead" Goha answers. "Are you crazy??" his neighbors replies "pans don't die!!". "You believed they can give birth" Goha says "why can't you believe that they could die as well??!!"

Viagra Price Watch : Prices Going Through The Roof!!

2006-03-13T10:04:00.000+02:00

File under "only in Egypt":
Authorities in Cairo International Airport had intercepted 1.8 tons (yeah, tons!) of Viagra, while they were being smuggled inside bags of ceramic powder coming from UAE. (Arabic source)
The shipment belongs to Mohammed Abu El-Ainin's (Chairman of the industry committee in parliament, and one of the NDP's most powerful men ) company. He denied any responsibility, and even offered to have his parliamentary immunity revoked to be questioned about the incident.

This, however, didn't stop Egyptians from cracking jokes about the thing. Most would be inappropriate, but let me say that a particular one observed the fact that this huge viagra shipment, came in time with Gamal Mubarak's engagement!

Can you guess the joke?

6 Things To Do While Caught in 6th of October Traffic

2006-03-12T10:33:00.000+02:00

1. Contemplate if Elissa got a recent nose job.
2. Read about Mubarak's Eurotrip in the newspaper of the guy next car.
3. Treat yourself to an M&M everytime the guys at Nile FM (or Nogom FM) make a joke that makes jumping off the bridge a favorable idea.
4. Behold the early-morning-beauty of Egyptian girls (dopey, messy, uncut!)
5. Try to form complete sentences out of random bumper stickers on pickup trucks, and mini-buses.
6. Work on your breath holding record by getting your glass down and trying to survive Cairo's 'brilliant' air.

A Really Innocent Question

2006-03-12T10:25:00.000+02:00

I was talking to a friend recently, and we both had a question which we couldn't find an answer for:
Whatever happened to Toshka?!!
If anybody has any idea, please tell me. Seriously!

You Have To See This

2006-03-11T04:34:00.000+02:00

I seem to be in the habit of changing opinions about people these days, but I can only salute Spielberg for this.
I am just home from a very late screening of 'Munich', and let me put it this way:
There are good movies that makes you feel all happy and satisfied, and then there are others which disturb you, and leaves you with a looser grip on reality.
'Munich' is of the latter type.
But don't take my word for it. Go see it!

There is a Reason There are Quotes

2006-03-10T13:27:00.000+02:00

Been looking for something similar for a while now. Here it is:

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish

Euripides

How To Start A Terrorist Network?

2006-03-10T01:47:00.000+02:00

Being entrepreneurial as ever, I always pondered this question; how do one get to start his own terrorist group. I mean I obviously am against what they're doing, but on a more logistic, operational, organizational level these guys astonish me. How could the Bin-Ladins and Zarqawis of the world get to coordinate those massive killing networks with such precision we hear of on the evening news, without any MBAs in their ranks.
After brief observations, and briefer thoughts, I give you the "Extremist's Guide To Start His Own Terror Group":

1. Find a victim (preferably somebody who was, being, or willing to be killed). The wider the definition of the 'victim' the better.
2. Find a villain who can pass Mr. Evil's criteria of badness. Abstract, stereotype, dehumanize, and repeat.
3. Define an ideology. It's not hard really; use very big words to define it, scream while you're talking about it, and make your eyes dilate in utter disbelief when somebody questions it (I know it takes practice, but you'll manage)
4. Have a leader. You got to have a leader. Can you have a war without a hero? You sure can't! I know that you're thinking "I'm the leader! I am the one reading the manual!" I know. But you can't be a 'leader', until you star in your own version of "Passion of the Christ". Man, you gotta be the savior. S-a-v-i-o-r. The greater the number of people you're trying to save the better; it widens the recruitment pool. Also, you need to emphasize traumas in your life and how it made you the great leader you are. If these traumas include one when the villain took you away from your parents in your childhood, you've hit the jackpot.
5. Be paranoid. Needless to say, everybody is conspiring against you.
6. Give suggestions not orders, preferably in the heat of defining your ideology (see 3). Something like "we disapprove of killing, but if any of the villains took as much as a breath of air that could have gone to us, then we will surely kill him without hesitation!" See, no orders, just suggestions! (will also serve you well during investigations later on)
7. Offer alternatives, between dying or following you blindly "...even if we have to give up some of our principles...hell...dying isn't a good principle, now is it?!"
8. Repeat, repeat, and repeat. Through cassettes, CDs, satellite channels, internet, the new blogging thingie...you know, the works!

Now that you have your own terror group, I have one more advice to you; "Never be upstaged", stay invincible, stay vindicated!

Welcome Back

2006-03-09T01:55:00.000+02:00

Ritzy was one of the very first Egyptian bloggers I read for. She is intelligent, funny, witty, and trying to get us to associate her with Pamela Anderson with that profile image she is having. She stopped writing abruptly 4 months ago, but now she is back from prison..err..Africa where she helped homeless children build toy cars!
Seriously, watch out for this girl!
Glad to have you back!!

Random Maxims

2006-03-09T01:14:00.000+02:00

The grand master sat with his legs tucked carefully beneath him. He had an aura which held time captive, just as the guards held the mob outside. He took a sip of his fresh, green, cup of tea, stroked his long white beard gently, and started to speak slowly, albeit impatiently:
"So what are you coming for son?"
The tiny student fretted relentlessly, but tried to maintain his composure nevertheless "I came to you for wisdom Grandmaster"
"What kind of wisdom son?"
"Wisdom that will hold me from hating my enemies, but prevent me from indulging my friends" the student answered immediately.
"Well...do you have a pen?"
"Actually I have something better" the student answered with a smile on his face, as he took out his tablet pc from between his rags.
"Well, well, I guess you're ready" the grandmaster said as his eyes fixed forward as if he was talking to the ether. The student nodded his head as he held the stylus firmly.
"get this...

It is easy being a hero when no one else is in the room

"
The student looked puzzled, but started writing nevertheless. The grandmaster continued:
"

The worst kind of loneliness is that inside your head

"
The student now looked really confused, but the thought of interrupting his master never crossed his head. The master's eyes narrowed, as he spoke these final words:
"and,

When in the market for thought, take a cue from the market of food; The smartest stand in the shortest queue

"
Upon uttering those words, the master reclined in his chair, and looked to the student who gathered his stuff and half-kneeled to his master.
"Thank you Grandmaster. These would be words that I'll teach my sons to teach theirs"
"Slick, huh?" the master said with a smile on his face
"Totally cool" the student said "You're da man!"
The master smiled "Now get the hell out of here!" the master yelled.
The student bowed, and walked out hesitantly!
Just before he crossed the door, the master called "And make sure to check this out. Now GO!"

The Anatomy of Conflict

2006-03-08T14:25:00.000+02:00

Nothing about a Cuban missile crisis here...
Rather, a more trivial type of conflict. Or so it appears.
I'm pretty sure that some of you had been following the argument me and Sandmonkey are having recently. (If you hadn't, read my post, and his rebuttal)
What is happening basically is that, being an avid reader of Sandmonkey's, I tend to agree with him on certain issues, while I don't feel particularly crazy about others. But, hey nobody said that reading for somebody means that you should agree with him on everything.
I don't want to get into the details of this specific argument, but I didn't like what he said about a specific topic, and I decided to take him to task. The guy replied and so far, he had been a class act (poked a little fun, but hey, I was a bit cheeky myself)
Anyways, the interesting part wasn't us (me and sandmonkey), it was the commentators.
Now, I really believe that at some point during human evolution the gene responsible for level-headed, unbiased thinking got lost. But you tend to believe (or hope more accurately) that this gene would be over-represented in the blog-reading population. After all, here are some guys who had the common sense to substitute manipulative mainstream media with media-of-their-peers. This idea is also enforced by all the talk about how blogging is really about the conversation, and not about the broadcast, or the juicy sound-bite. You also hope that the fact that most blogs are text based, permanent, and anonymous that people would be able to asses an idea for its merit, without regard to who is saying it, or what are the preconceived opinion about the group of people he belongs to (ethnically, religiously, culturally, socially, etc...).
Sounds funny?
Well it is. Because it certainly isn't true (BOCTAOE).
Our argument (which I think we aren't taking so heatedly) has evolved into a tribal tug. Not that any reader's input isn't welcomed, but commentators on both blogs were enthusiastically trying to prove their loyalty to the blog they read everyday (more on sandmonkey's side this one), or their hatred of the other blog. Some people are calling me a 'suicide bomber admirer' which goes to prove, among other things, the kind of black-and-white perception some people have of everything. For some reason, people can't get the fact, that people can disagree about certain things, while agree on lots of other things. People are so stuck in the you're-with-us-or-against-us mentality of yore (wait a second, didn't Bush say that...well, I'm having a truce with the man, so I won't go there). They also can't understand a sentence like "I don't approve of suicide bombings under any circumstances". Funny!
I can easily imagine how this can evolve. I can get all angry at Sandmonkey, and his readers, and write something foolish like "it is like the redneck road-show over there" (I wanted an excuses to say it! sorry!), and he can respond by saying, I don't know, something like "readers at Tomanbay's enjoy lobbing grenades on weekends", I don't know. At this point, more and more people will jump into the fray, and it will eventually turn into a scene similar to any street fight in an Egyptian street where two people will be having an argument about something, when people crowd, start taking sides, start shooting obscenities at each other, and in less than 10 minutes, what started as a little argument can escalate to a full scale war. Of course feeling loyal to my readers I would have to take an even nuttier stand against him, and he will be forced to do the same. And the cycle will go on, and on, and on.

Now take a moment to think about this: what I have just described is just a virtual argument in cyberspace between two bloggers. It is as close to inconsequential as you could possibly get. But, don't you see that this is the way most conflicts evolve in real life?

I wouldn't go any further. Just think about it!

P.S.: In case you're wondering, I like the Bugs Bunny way of solving conflicts. When Elmer Fudd would get mad, he will kiss him! Mwwwwah!

Take Off Your Yellow Posters

2006-03-08T11:36:00.000+02:00

Well, according to Osama El-Baz (Mubarak, Sr.'s political advisor), the 'family' doesn't intend on "putting forward the president's 42-year-old son Gamal as a successor".
So, he was sincere all along. Sorry, my bad!
Kefaya, enough already. No inheritance of presidency...Yay!

My call: it is sooner than what everybody expects!

P.S.: Is it just me, or is this excellent portrait of Gamal, by Bahgoury in Ahram Weekly, a little more critical than the caption would like us to believe?

Spelling Bee

2006-03-07T19:22:00.000+02:00

Never thought a spelling bee can cause all this excitement!!!

Via Seth's Blog

Me And My Blogger Peeps

2006-03-07T16:49:00.000+02:00

(I'm on an egomanical-titles roll today)
Listen, when I first started this blog, I didn't intend at all to start picking on people. That's the reason why I never chatted on-line, or posted to on-line forums before. It was like I-can-type-more-obscenities-faster-than-you kind of competition. Not really my cup of tea.
But, I find it really hard to keep my mouth shut.
So Sandmonkey, sorry but I had to do this.
Here goes.
Listen buddy, you seem like a nice guy (a bit hyperactive, but nice anyways), and I happen to share a lot of opinions with you. I even added you to my links (look to your right), so really nothing bad between us. I really share your hate for closed minded ideologists who refuse to open up to the world, and to communicate about their differences. I also share your resentment of people who decide to write-off people and ideas from the get-go without giving them the opportunity to explain themselves or to decipher their motives. I also find it really hard to sympathize with people who dismiss an entire country like the USA, when it is standing for the values of democracy and free trade. And, I couldn't agree on you more that we can't ask all people to be replicas of each others, but rather all we can hope for is for people to be civilized despite their differences.

Uh..wait a second...why am I sympathizing with you again?
(if you didn't get it, click on the links above to see how he didn't stand for the things he said he would stand for)

Look Sandmonkey, I believe that you stand for the things that you said you stand for. I can understand also the pressure of having to post 5000 times a day; there isn't really that many topics to speak about. But my problem is that you sometime send very mixed signals. For example I know that you're against the moronic opposition to the Dubai ports deal, but then you posted this, and I was like, what does this monkey mean? (no insult intended). But I tended to go over those things.
Until it was today. In two successive posts, you single-handedly diminished any suspicion I might had that you're actually a libertarian, as you claim you are. In the first one you tried to debase this singer guy (singer! rings any bells?), and kept second guessing him, because he sang a song about veiled girls. Big deal! I mean I might not approve of girls being forced to wear veils, but that doesn't mean that the guy is a fraud, or that he is a hypocrite, or that he is 'exploiting religion', and he most certainly didn't imply that "..Very bad western world. Very very bad!..". It just means that he doesn't agree with you on everything! So what?! You should be able to "tolerate" this, and actually praise the fact that he is taking a stand against Bin Laden (even if only verbally), something which we both know, isn't very popular with neo-muslims.
In the second post however, you topped yourself. You were very successful in emulating the thought process of radical, extremist, fanatical jihadiys, you're having issues with. These guys would have a sheikh come to them to tell them that a certain book is bad, and they shouldn't even read it, but rather avenge for their religion and kill the author. Well, you didn't exactly call for killing the director of the movie, (as I said, I believe you're good), but you, nevertheless, had the audacity to say that about a movie (any movie) :

even before seeing this movie, I declare that I stand against it and what it stands for, and I won't be hailing it in any way, even if it's good

Now, don't you agree with me that some Wahabi nutjob can say the same exact phrase about "The Passion of The Christ" for example?
Now if you intend to reply to that, please don't sound-bite me. I don't approve of suicide bombings under any circumstances. I even wrote about that earlier, and got some angry comments. But I don't approve of bank robberies either, but I like "Bonnie and Clyde", and as I said earlier, I really don't believe in Scorsese's interpretation of Christ's story, but I like the movie all the same.
Nobody who dismiss a song or a movie on face value can be called 'libertarian' in my book. No body!

The above piece was written in the best of intentions. Please read it carefully, or else you're going down SM. Not because of me, but because of your failure to uphold the principles which you claim to ascribe to.
But hey, they say that dissin' is the greatest form of admiration! Respect!

update: ~~Sandmonkey just replied to the post here. Couldn't be classier. Thanks mate, seriously. And I'll have to agree that criticism is flattering, you lucky bastard. (And thanks for the link too...Mwah!)~~
Here is the real reply. Must read. (So you were trying to contradict yourself to fool idiots, like myself, into reacting in a way which will eventually shock westerners by contradicting their views of us! Brilliant! SM...Mwwwwwah!)
Read my analysis of this debate, here.

Me And My Bush

2006-03-07T14:04:00.000+02:00

...the president! Bush, the president, you dirty-minded $%#$.... God!

It's no secret that I am not the veterans for truth Bush fan club honorary president. Heck, I'm not even a member. If there was ever a the-man-is-a-dim-ventriloquist-dummy club, I would join in a heart beat. This has nothing to do with me being a liberal, communist, islamist fundamentalist, abortion loving, girly man...it is just that everytime I look in his eyes -in the immortal words of Dave Letterman-"[I] get the feeling that someone else is driving"
But I'll have to take that back.
Bush is finally showing some backbone.
You all know the thing with Dubai ports company deal. In case you don't, here is the thing: An Emirati Company is bidding to buy the right to manage 8 American ports. The president, always the free trade loving guy he is, ok'ed the deal. Respectable senators on the hill had another opinion all together. Some senators labeled this deal as a 'serious breach of American national security', while others thought it essentially means that Qaida gains control of American ports. Some republican hawk (Rep. Duncan Hunter, R-Calif.) even called for a divestment of other ports, when George Stephanopolous asked him why they didn''t object to other countries (including China!) controlling other American ports. Some politicians are even claiming that UAE was actually a sponsor of Qaida!!!
What I think however, is that as tempting as it is to guess that all American politicians across the board are having an extreme case of foreigner-paranoia, the matter has a very fundamental political underpinning. Bush's popularity is sinking, and this situation provided an excellent opportunity for 1)republicans to dissociate themselves from him, and 2)democrats to actually get on the right of republicans (especially, president hopeful Hillary Clinton, whom I'm beginning to worry about the prospects of her winning the elections--we'd have a very stressful couple of days each month!).
Bush is, as always, steadfast in his position, saying that he will veto any decision by the congress to stop the deal (C'mon the man only got 2 more years in office, and didn't use the veto yet). So, I guess that we'll have to just wait and see.
Meanwhile, my suggestion to Emiraties is this, and I'm being extremely serious now: if congress stopped the deal, boycott the US. Really, there needn't to be any ideological reason for this boycott. It's simply a matter of defending free trade; the US congress doesn't think that UAE is a trustworthy trade partner, so why should the UAE think that the US is any good. If the US is to promote free trade, it should practice what it preaches.
And, no flag-burning please.